"If at first you don't succeed... So much for skydiving."
~Henny Youngman.

"If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown
too?"
~Steven Wright.

"Monica Seles: I'd hate to be next door to her on her wedding night."
~Peter Ustinov. (grunt!)

"I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid
they are or how superior I am to them."
~Steve Martin

"Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow
women."
~Groucho Marx

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's
too dark to read."
~Groucho Marx

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
~ Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
~ George Burns

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