And I thought my local Municiple course had tough rules!!

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:24 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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There's an old sea story in the Navy about a ship's Captain who inspected
his sailors, and afterward told the Chief Bosun that his men smelled bad.

The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors would change
their underwear occasionally. The Chief responded, "Aye, aye sir, I'll see to
it immediately!"

The Chief went straight to the sailors berth deck and announced, "The
Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your underwear.
"Pittman, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, and
Brown, you change with Schultz. Now get to it!!!"

THE MORAL:
Someone may be promising "change" in Washington, but don't count on
things smelling any better!

H/T Nancy

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 11:20 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Posted by: Delftsman3 at 11:33 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors.

Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic ' the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.

One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. 'STOP!' he shouted in a firm voice. 'Have you got a license for that thing?'

Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. 'OK' he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted 'STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?'

Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said 'On your way, Ma'am.'

As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, Butt- Naked, and holding his 'You-Know-What' in his hand.

Oh, good grief,' yelled Ethel, 'Not that Damn Breathalyzer Test again!

H/T Catfish

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 11:12 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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