I've posted this before, but it's as true now as it was then. more...

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:57 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 25 words, total size 1 kb.

The top Five reasons computers must be female...

5.- No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

4.- Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.

3.- The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

2.- The message, "Bad command or filename", is about as informative as "if you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".

1.- As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 06:28 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 102 words, total size 1 kb.

Just a little humor to lighten up a drab Monday.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An old woman was being interviewed and was asked "I see that you were maried four times". "Your first husband was a banker, the second a theater owner, the third a preacher, and your fourth an undertaker". "Why such disparet profesions?"

She replied that it was all due to good planning. "Oh?" said the interviewer.

"Yes", she replied. "One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A husband and wife were having a bitter argument, towards the end of which, the wife proclaimed: "I want to dance on your casket" to which the husband immediatly rejoined: "Great! Bury me at sea!".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A guy was trying to console a friend who'd just found his wife in bed with another man. "Get over it, buddy," he said. "It's not the end of the world."

"It's all right for you to say," answered his buddy. "But what if you came home one night and caught another man in bed with your wife?"

The fella ponders for a moment, then says, "I'd break his cane and kick his seeing-eye dog in the ass."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One morning Bobby's mother was cleaning his room, and she found an S & M magazine under the bed. She was beside herself worrying, trying to think of how to handle the situation.
Finally her husband came home from work, and he asked her how her day was. The mother told him about the magazine. Shaking, she asked him how they were going handle this situation.

Her husband sat there for awhile, sighed, and said, "Well, I guess spanking him is out of the question."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. Their passion is heating up. Then the wife stops and says: "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
The husband says: "WHAT??" The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen and he might as well deal with it.

The next day the husband takes his wife shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. Then they go to the jewelry department where she gets a set of diamond earrings.

The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out. She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says: "You don't even play tennis, but OK if you like it, then let's get it." The wife jumps up and down, so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says: "I am ready to go, let's go to the cash register."

The husband says: "No - no - no, Honey we're not going to buy all this stuff." The wife's face goes blank. "No Honey. I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."

The wife gets really mad and is about to explode when the husband says: "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wonder what which jokes I chose says about me ?!?!

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 06:23 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 565 words, total size 3 kb.

Interesting....I looked up my domain name with the Link Popularity tool, here are the results:

Link Popularity Report
Domain www.delftsman.mu.nu
Alexa Traffic Ranking: 11617
Present in DMOZ: No
Present in Zeal: No

AlltheWeb: 1
AltaVista :56,500
Google: 0
HotBot
MSN Search: 32
Yahoo! :56,500
Link Popularity Total: 113,033

According to the tool:"A site that has a Link Popularity Score of 1,000-5,000 is considered average. A site with a Link Popularity Score of 20,000 is considered popular. Sites with a Link Popularity Score above 100,000 are Internet "Icons"."

So with a score of 113,033, I'M an "Internet Icon"!

All I have to say is that it seems that this tool has some serious flaws; but I needed the ego boost, so I'm not going to investigate any furthur and bask in the undeserved rating, at least until some schmuck comes and bursts my bubble.

H/T to GuyK for directing me to the link and giving me an ego boost when I really needed it.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 08:59 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 167 words, total size 1 kb.

Here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth
after all the conflicting medical studies:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians & French drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausage and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

H/T to GuyK....Yet ANOTHER one I've stolen borrowed from him.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:30 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 134 words, total size 1 kb.

'Sanctimonious, Contemptible, Nauseating, Despicable
a Rose Hypocrite by any other name..."

Thanks Wanda, thats the best description of the DNC/ACLU/Moveon.org I have ever read!

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:31 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 32 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Sorry Delftsman, the link to Wanda is harelipped. http://www.wordsonapage1.blogspot.com/

Posted by: Jack at November 26, 2005 10:58 PM (eMjB8)

2 Thanks Jack..seems that I copied one too may "http's". should have checked it better, seems that slow posting has made me lax in my attention to detail.

Posted by: delftsman3 at November 27, 2005 05:45 AM (IIhoe)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:45 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 12 words, total size 1 kb.