When you have a "I Hate My Job" day, try this:
> On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the
> thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson
> &Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.
>
> When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the
> phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing
> and sit in your favorite chair.
>
> Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on
> a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.
>
> Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read
> it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:
>
> "Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally
> tested and then sanitized".
>
> Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do
> not work in the thermometer quality control at Johnson & Johnson."
>
> HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB
> THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE A** THAN YOURS . . . .

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:28 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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A South Carolina farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called, and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.
The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. Upon arriving at the residence he climbed the utility pole, plugged in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's phone number.
The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and then the telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman
discovered the following:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.
4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

H/T to Catfish

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:24 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 197 words, total size 1 kb.

Read the following explanation before looking at the picture!

This picture is not doctored. Most Syrians struggle to even read Arabic, much less have a clue about English.

So, how do a group of Syrian protest leaders create the most impact w ith their signs by having the standard "Death To Americans"(etc.) slogans printed in English?

Answer: They simply hire an English-speaking civilian! To translate and write their statements into English. Unfortunately, in this case, they were unaware that the "civilian" insurance company employee hired for the job was a retired US Army sergeant!

Obviously, pictures of this protest rally never made their way through the Arab TV networks, but the results were "Priceless."

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 03:06 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 118 words, total size 1 kb.

A married couple walked in to a souvenir store in Jamaica. The Jamaican man said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex."

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was.

The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"

The Jamaican replied, "Just try dem on, Mon."
So, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on.
As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years!

In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's hips.

The Jamaican then began screaming, "You got dem on the wrong feet! You got dem on the wrong feet!"

H/T to my Brother in Law for the joke

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 06:26 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 195 words, total size 1 kb.

With Halloween coming up, naturaly our thoughts turn toward the macabre and horrifying, and sure enough, Da Catfish came up with something truly horrifying:

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 04:00 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 29 words, total size 1 kb.

Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to
her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some
machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the
plug."

She got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my beer.

She's such a bitch.....

H/T to Catfish

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:50 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 67 words, total size 1 kb.

Grandmas Don't Know Everything

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days.

He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while
when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma,
what's that called when two people sleep in the same room
and one is on top of the other?"

She was a little taken aback, but she decided to just tell
him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."

Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK," and went back outside to
play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,
"Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called
Bunk Beds.

And Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you."

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
To get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
And some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... So does she.

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be
So stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
'
The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

FOOTBALL SCOUTING REPORT*

> >>>Well folks, it arrived ... the 2007 football scouting report. The
> >>>following scouting report is making the rounds of Division I football
> >>>coaches:

> >>>Wayfron P. Jackson: 6' 6", 215 lbs. Wide Receiver.
> >>>Hottest prospect
> >>>from Texas in the last ten years. Loves rap music.
> >>>Will demand a
> >>>mini-cassette in his helmet. Currently holds world record for the most
> >>>"do you knows" during an interview (62 in one minute). Wayfron can
> >>>print his complete name.

> >>>Cletis Quinticious Jenkins: 6' 3", 220 lbs. Running Back. Set state
> >>>scoring record out of Triton High School, Dunn, North Carol ina. & Also
> >>>led the state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions. He has been
> >>>clocked at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19" TV under each arm.

> >>>Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell: 6' 1", 195 lbs. Running Back. From Tyler,
> >>>Texas. Has processed hair and imitates Billy Dee Williams very well.
> >>>Before he signed his letter of intent, he wanted the school to change
> >>>colors to chartreuse and pink. Listed his church preference as "red
> >>>brick."

> >>>Woodrow Lee Washington: 6' 8", 310 lbs. Tackle. From a 4th generation
> >>>welfare family. At 19 he's the oldest of 21 children.
> >>>Mother claims Woodrow and child number 9 have same father. He has a
> >>>manslaughter trial pending but feels he will be found innocent because:
> >>>"The dude said something bad 'bout my Momma." On his entrance form, he listed his I.Q. as 20-20.

> >>>Willie "Night Train" Smith: 6'4", 225 lbs. Quarter back. Born on an
> >>>Amtrak train. Birth certificate indicates he is 27 years old. Thinks the
> >>>"N" on Nebraska's helmets stands for "Nowledge,"
> >>>but still meets this school's stringent entrance requirements. Insists on > >>>wearing number 32 jersey since it matches his score on his College
> >>>Entrance Exam.

> >>>Tyrone "Python" Peoples: 6'10", 228 lbs. Wide Receiver. Has a pending
> >>>paternity suit and two rape trials, but hopes none of his other
> >>>9 victims will file charges. Tyrone had already signed letters of intent
> >>>with six other colleges but was also willing to sign with us.
> >>>Likes wild women and red Cadillacs. Thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican
> >>>Telephone Company.

> >>>Abdul Hasheen Abba Ali: 6'10", 305 lbs. Guard. Played high school ball
> >>>under the name Sylvester LeRoy Jones until he discovered religion.
> >>>Abdul thinks Sherlock Holmes is a housing project in Jacksonville.
> >>>Doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear." (Doesn't know the meaning
> >>>of many other words, either.)

> >>>Note: College track coaches intend to use several of the above signees
> >>>in their track programs. However, instead of using a starting gun at
> >>>track meets, the NCAA has agreed to use a burglar alarm... This, they
> >>>hope, will keep the runners alert.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:27 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 815 words, total size 5 kb.

The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the
best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a
test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest.
They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of
extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn most of the
forest, killing almost everything in it, including the rabbit and they
make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten
bear. The bear is yelling: “Okay, okay, I’m a rabbit, I’m a rabbit.”

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 04:04 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 139 words, total size 1 kb.

I rear-ended a car this morning ... that's when I knew it was going to be a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF! He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"

So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"

That's how the fight started.

H/T Catfish

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:18 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 66 words, total size 1 kb.

They just finished the jury selection phase of the Michael Vick case!

H/T Catfish

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 06:23 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 18 words, total size 1 kb.

The Louisiana State Police received reports of
illegal cockfights being held in the area around
Natchitoches and sent their famous detective,
Boudreaux, to investigate.

Boudreaux reported to his sergeant the next morning.
"Dey is tree main groups in dis rooster fightin'" he began.

"Good work. Who are they?" the sergeant asked.

Boudreaux replied confidently, "De Texas Aggies, de
Cajuns, and de Mafia."

Puzzled, the sergeant asked, "How did you find that
out in one night?"

"Well," he replied, "I went down and done seen dem
rooster fights in person. I knowed dem Aggies was
involved when a duck was entered in one of the fights."
The sergeant nodded, "I'll buy that. But what about
the others?"

Boudreaux nodded knowingly, "Well, I knowed de
Cajuns was involved when summbody bet on de duck."

"Ah," sighed the sergeant, "And how did you figure
the Mafia was involved?"

"De duck won."

H/T: GuyK

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 08:14 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 156 words, total size 1 kb.

There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby, so he went before
the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they
passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his
paycheck.

After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation
decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's salary. There
was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman's additional
children were costing the church.

Finally, the Preacher got up and spoke to the crowd, "Children are a
gift from God," he said.

Silence fell on the congregation.

After several embarrassing seconds had past, a little old lady seated in
the back pew, stood up and in her frail voice said, "Rain is also a gift
from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."

H/T:
Slaglerock

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:43 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 152 words, total size 1 kb.

Another one from the B-i-L:

Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately; illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida.

Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It's a win-win situation.

+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.

+ Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levies.

+ Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:38 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 89 words, total size 1 kb.

Here are some general Life observations that my Ex B-i-L sent me, and I took his suggestion of "Ya just might want to pass this along" to heart.

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
So I said "Implants?".........She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!"

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN !!

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Wouldn't you know it...
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

Bumper sticker of the year:

"If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier"

And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:28 AM | Comments (29) | Add Comment
Post contains 295 words, total size 2 kb.

I belong to an internet discussion group that has as it's main focus my favoritre Amendment contained in the Bill of Rights, the much maligned (by "Progressive" folks) Second. One of the other members of the group, known as Gump, came up with the following amusing look at the current state of "thoughts" (as posited by the "Progressive elements) concerning MY favorite Amendment:

Forty Reasons to Ban Guns:

1. Banning guns works, which is why New York, DC, Detroit & Chicago cops
need guns.

2. Washington DC's low murder rate of 69 per 100,000 is due to strict gun
control, and Indianapolis' high murder rate of 9 per 100,000 is due to the
lack of gun control.

3. Statistics showing high murder rates justify gun control but statistics
showing increasing murder rates after gun control are "just statistics."

4. The Brady Bill and the Assault Weapons Ban, both of which went into
effect in 1994 are responsible for the decrease in violent crime rates,
which have been declining since 1991.

5. We must get rid of guns because a deranged lunatic may go on a shooting
spree at any time and anyone who would own a gun out of fear of such a
lunatic is paranoid.

6. The more helpless you are the safer you are from criminals.

7. An intruder will be incapacitated by tear gas or oven spray, but if shot
with a .357 Magnum will get angry and kill you.

8. A woman raped and strangled is morally superior to a woman with a smoking
gun and a dead rapist at her feet.

9. When confronted by violent criminals, you should "put up no defense -
give them what they want, or run" (Handgun Control Inc. Chairman Pete
Shields, Guns Don't Die - People Do, 1981, p. 125).

10. The New England Journal of Medicine is filled with expert advice about
guns; just like Guns & Ammo has some excellent treatises on heart surgery.

11. One should consult an automotive engineer for safer seat belts, a civil
engineer for a better bridge, a surgeon for internal medicine, a computer
programmer for hard drive problems, and Sarah Brady for firearms expertise.

12. The 2nd Amendment, ratified in 1787, refers to the National Guard, which
was created 130 years later, in 1917.

13. The National Guard, federally funded, with bases on federal land, using
federally-owned weapons, vehicles, buildings and uniforms, punishing
trespassers under federal law, is a "state" militia.

14. These phrases: "right of the people peaceably to assemble," "right of
the people to be secure in their homes," "enumerations herein of certain
rights shall not be construed to disparage others retained by the people,"
and "The powers not delegated herein are reserved to the states
respectively, and to the people" all refer to individuals, but "the right of
the people to keep and bear arms" refers to the state.

15. "The Constitution is strong and will never change." But we should ban
and seize all guns thereby violating the 2nd, 4th, and 5th Amendments to
that Constitution.

16. Rifles and handguns aren't necessary to national defense! Of course, the
army has hundreds of thousands of them.

17. Private citizens shouldn't have handguns, because they aren't "military
weapons'', but private citizens shouldn't have "assault rifles'', because
they are military weapons.

18. In spite of waiting periods, background checks, fingerprinting,
government forms, etc., guns today are too readily available, which is
responsible for recent school shootings. In the 1940's, 1950's and 1960's,
anyone could buy guns at hardware stores, army surplus stores, gas stations,
variety stores, Sears mail order, no waiting, no background check, no
fingerprints, no government forms and there were no school shootings.

19. The NRA's attempt to run a "don't touch" campaign about kids handling
guns is propaganda, but the anti-gun lobby's attempt to run a "don't touch"
campaign is responsible social activity.

20. Guns are so complex that special training is necessary to use them
properly, and so simple to use that they make murder easy.

21. A handgun, with up to 4 controls, is far too complex for the typical
adult to learn to use, as opposed to an automobile that only has 20.

22. Women are just as intelligent and capable as men but a woman with a gun
is "an accident waiting to happen" and gun makers' advertisements aimed at
women are "preying on their fears."

23. Ordinary people in the presence of guns turn into slaughtering butchers
but revert to normal when the weapon is removed.

24. Guns cause violence, which is why there are so many mass killings at gun
shows.

25. A majority of the population supports gun control, just like a majority
of the population supported owning slaves.

26. Any self-loading small arm can legitimately be considered to be a
"weapon of mass destruction" or an "assault weapon."

27. Most people can't be trusted, so we should have laws against guns, which
most people will abide by because they can be trusted.

28. The right of Internet pornographers to exist cannot be questioned
because it is constitutionally protected by the Bill of Rights, but the use
of handguns for self defense is not really protected by the Bill of Rights.

29. Free speech entitles one to own newspapers, transmitters, computers, and
typewriters, but self- defense only justifies bare hands.

30. The ACLU is good because it uncompromisingly defends certain parts of
the Constitution, and the NRA is bad, because it defends other parts of the
Constitution.

31. Charlton Heston, a movie actor as president of the NRA is a cheap
lunatic who should be ignored, but Michael Douglas, a movie actor as a
representative of Handgun Control, Inc. is an ambassador for peace who is
entitled to an audience at the UN arms control summit.

32. Police operate with backup within groups, which is why they need larger
capacity pistol magazines than do "civilians" who must face criminals alone
and therefore need less ammunition.

33. We should ban "Saturday Night Specials" and other inexpensive guns
because it's not fair that poor people have access to guns too.

34. Police officers have some special Jedi-like mastery over handguns that
private citizens can never hope to obtain.

35. Private citizens don't need a gun for self- protection because the
police are there to protect them even though the Supreme Court says the
police are not responsible for their protection.

36. Citizens don't need to carry a gun for personal protection but police
chiefs, who are desk-bound administrators who work in a building filled with
cops, need a gun.

37. "Assault weapons" have no purpose other than to kill large numbers of
people. The police need assault weapons. You do not.

38. When Microsoft pressures its distributors to give Microsoft preferential
promotion, that's bad; but when the Federal government pressures cities to
buy guns only from Smith & Wesson, that's good.

39. Trigger locks do not interfere with the ability to use a gun for
defensive purposes, which is why you see police officers with one on their
duty weapon.

40. Handgun Control, Inc., says they want to "keep guns out of the wrong
hands." Guess what? You have the wrong hands.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 01:33 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 1210 words, total size 7 kb.

A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The man said to the
dentist, "Doc, I'm in one hell of a hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in
my car waiting for us to go play golf". So forget about the anesthetic and
just pull the tooth and be done with it.

We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and it's 9:30 already. I don't have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!".

The dentist thought to himself, "My goodness, this is surely a very brave
man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain."

So the dentist asked him, "Which tooth is it sir?".

The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth and show him Honey.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:00 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 146 words, total size 1 kb.

A group of country neighbors wanted to get together on a regular basis and socialize. As a result, about 10 couples formed a dinner club and agreed to meet for dinner at a different neighbors' house each month.

Of course, the lady of the house was to prepare the meal. When it came time for Jimmy and Susie Brown to have the dinner at their house, like most women, Susie wanted to outdo all the others and prepare a meal that was the best that any of them had ever lapped a lip over.

A few days before the big event, Susie got out her cookbook and decided to have mushroom smothered steak. When she went to the store to buy some mushrooms, she found the price for a small can was more than she wanted to pay. She then told her husband, "We aren't going to have
mushrooms because they are too expensive"

He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty of them right in the creek bed." She said, "No, I don't want to do that, because I have heard that wild mushrooms are poison."

He then said, "I don't think so. I see the varmints eating them all the time and it never has affected
them."

After thinking about this, Susie decided to give this a try and got in the pickup and went down in the pasture and picked some. She brought the wild mushrooms back home and washed them, sliced and diced them to get them ready to go over her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and got Ol' Spot's (the yard dog) bowl and gave him a double handful. She even put some bacon grease on them to make them tasty.

Ol' Spot didn't slow down until he had eaten every bite.

All morning long, Susie watched him and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

The meal was a great success, and Susie even hired a lady from town to come out and help her serve. She had on a white apron and a little cap on her head. It was first class.

After everyone had finished, they all began to kick back and relax and socialize. The men were visiting and the women started to gossip a bit. About this time, the lady from town came in from the kitchen and whispered in Susie's ear. She said, "Mrs. Brown, Spot just died."

With this news, Susie went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.

The doctor said, "It's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as I can get there. We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them all there and keep them calm."

It wasn't long until they could hear the wail of the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. When they got there, the EMTs got out with their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.

The doctor arrived shortly thereafter. One by one, they took each person into the master bathroom, gave them an enema and pumped out their stomach.

After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now," and he left.

They were all looking pretty peaked sitting around the living room, and about this time, the town lady came in and said, "You know, that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped!!

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 08:55 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 624 words, total size 3 kb.

A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

”You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one,” the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear.

“The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing…and, ” pausing to take another drink of beer…

The Senior took advantage of the break in the student’s litany and said, “You’re right, son. We didn’t have those things when we were young…so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little smart ass, what are you doing for the next generation?”

H/T to Leslie

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 01:55 AM | Comments (35) | Add Comment
Post contains 156 words, total size 1 kb.

My "Nephew" TSgt. R. Slagle sent me this, and I found it humorous on several levels......

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 08:07 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 26 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Bwahahaha, I guess it's inevitable.

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Chrissie, AKA Wild Thing, sent me this one and I just HAD to put it up, after I stopped rolling on the floor:

Taking a wee break from the golf course, Tiger Woods drives his new Mercedes into an Irish gas station.

An attendant greets him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is... " Top o' the mornin to ya".

As Tiger gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket. " So what are those things, laddie?" asks the attendant.

"They're called tees," replies Tiger.

"And what would ya be usin 'em for, now? " inquires the Irishman.

"Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," replies Tiger.

"Aw, Jaysus, Mary an' Joseph!" exclaims the Irish attendant. "Those fellas at Mercedes think of everything."

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 02:26 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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