There's a student in medical school who wants to specialize in
sexual disorders, so he makes arrangements to visit the sexual disorder clinic.

The chief doctor is showing him around, discussing cases and the
facility, when the student sees a patient masturbating right there in the hallway.

"What condition does he have?" the student asks.

"He suffers from Seminal Buildup Disorder," the doctor replies. "If
he doesn't obtain sexual release forty to fifty times a day, he'll
pass into a coma."

The student takes some notes on that, and they continue down the
hall.

As they turn the corner, he sees another patient with his pants around
his ankles, receiving oral sex from a beautiful nurse.

"What about him?" the student asks. "What's his story?"

"Oh, it's the same condition," the doctor replies. "He just has a
better health plan."

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 03:08 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 146 words, total size 1 kb.

Defense Attorney: What is your age?

Little old Woman: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened
to you on April 1 this year?

Little old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my porch
on a warm Spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the
porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?

Little old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner
passed away some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?

Little old Woman: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive
and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just laid down
and said to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!"

Defense! A ttorney: Did he take you?

Little old Woman: Hell, no. He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's
when I shot the little bastard!

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 03:03 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 256 words, total size 2 kb.

Dr. Boyle of Code Blue Blog has some interesting things to say about Terri Shiavo's last CT scan, done in 1996... Whats more, he is willing to put his money where his mouth is.
Just remember some of his points the next time some "emminent Neurologist" starts citing CT scans as if he could actually read them...

Be SURE to read some of his earlier posts too, it will put a whole new light on the situation.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 11:47 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 83 words, total size 1 kb.

I just got back to the Citidal after a full day of educational fun at the "Ideas 2005" sponsered by the Engineering Student Council of Purdue University.
The idea was to introduce engineering and science concepts to 4th and 5th graders to try to encourage an interest in the hard sciences among grade school children. The registration was to begin at 8:00 AM; and as I had slightly overslept, we didn't leave the Citidal untill almost 7:20, with 68 mile drive ahead of us. I ignored common sense and the speed limits, and we arrived at the registration area by 8:15, in spite of missing the first turn into Lafayette from l-65. The whole affair was run, led and instructed by Student Council members, and I would like to give them kudos for an enjoyable time.

It was truly a joy to watch these fresh faced youngsters on a quest for knowledge. I think the highlight of the day for Anna was when they got to try to fly the Alka-Seltzer rockets they had built in the Quad. Really quite amazing to see these little constructs made of film canisters and paper plate fins and nose cones hurl themselves up into the air, powered by alki-seltzer tablets and water. I think the top flier went almost thirty feet into the air. A close second was the ice cream the kids made themselves as a demonstration of chemical engineering.

Anna didn't want to leave, and wanted to know if she could go to a couple classes there this week to as she put it, "check out the teaching style of the professors" and see if she wanted to go to Purdue when it came time for her foray into higher education. If the goal was to excite young children to the possibilities of an education in science, I do believe it was a success.

After we were released from the activities, Anna and I talked to a young student named Frank in the Engineering Quad as he and his lovely girlfriend were walking their dogs. Of course Anna fell in love with the dogs and gave them a good hearty romp, chasing and fetching. Anna wanted to add these dogs to our growing menagerie, but I managed to convince her that they were happy with their present owners The first thing she did when we finally arrived home was to go into the back yard to lavish some needed attention to our own canine companions, I hust hope she doesn't get dirty before her sister comes to pick her up for a dinner out with the "out-laws", as Mamamontezz refers to them. (not describing their typical behaviour, just an amusing way to refer to my ex and her family, with whom we are still close to) As for me, I'm looking forward to a quiet evening at home alone, untill Mama gets home from work.

I'd post some pictures, but as Mama has kept the arcane knowledge of how to transfer pics from the camera onto the computer from her technologically ignorant spouse, it will have to await her return.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 10:28 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 525 words, total size 3 kb.

Just in case you ever got the two mixed up, this should make things a
bit clearer.

IN PRISON. You spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell
alone.
AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle with
jackasses.

IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal ... ... . and you pay
for it.

IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior, with accolades.
AT WORK...you get more work for good behavior, with grief.

IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK...you must carry around a stupid security card and open all
the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.
AT WORK...you have to share with others who pee on the seat, and
throw tp all around the room, fancy and crazy like. (and some who leave crap
in the toilet)

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family or friends.

IN PRISON...the taxpayers pay all expenses with no work required.
AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they
deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON...you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get
out and see people.
AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get away from people
and go to bars.

IN PRISON...you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK.... they are called sadistic managers.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:06 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 280 words, total size 2 kb.

Barbara Walters (20/20) did a story on gender roles:

In Kabul several years ago before the Afghan
conflict. She highlighted how women objected to the custom of having
to walk about 5 paces behind their husbands.

She returned to Kabul recently and observed that women still walked behind their husbands, walked even further back, and appeared pleased with the custom.

Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghan women and asked, "Why do you now seem happy with this old custom that you tried so hard to change?"

"Land mines." answered the Afghan woman.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:00 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 101 words, total size 1 kb.

A guy runs a stop sign and gets caught by a policeman. Cop says, "License and registration, please."

Guy says, "What for?"

Cop says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

Guy says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Cop says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."

Guy says, "What's the difference?"

Cop says, "The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop. License and registration, PLEASE!"

Guy says, "If you can show me the difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration."

Cop says, "Exit your vehicle, sir."

At this point, the cop takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving goodness out of the guy and says, "Do you want me to stop OR JUST SLOW DOWN?

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 08:56 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 145 words, total size 1 kb.

From New Scientist.com come 13 interesting anomolies that prove that science isn't really as all knowing as it presumes to be.

Think about it the next time you hear "most scientists agree" (which they really DON'T) that Global Warming is a fact and that it's caused mainly by human activities. They keep finding things that belie the "basic facts" of physics as we know it, yet they are "certain" that we have to commit economic suicide to prevent the destruction of the world as a habitable planet.....Oooookay....

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 08:43 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 101 words, total size 1 kb.

I saw this cartoon in my E-mail and thought: "what a good response to Moonbat ravings..." So from now on, when I see a story that I find particularly "out there", I think I'll preface it with this cartoon:

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 08:17 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 49 words, total size 1 kb.