After getting all of Billy Graham's luggage loaded into the limo, the driver notices that the Mr. Graham is still standing on the curb.

"Excuse me, Mr. Graham," says the driver, "would you please take your seat so we can leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says Mr. Graham, "they never let me drive
anymore, and I'd really like to drive today."

"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if
something should happen?," protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

"There might be something extra in it for you," s! ays Mr. Graham.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the bac! k as Billy Graham climbs in behind
the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the
airport, Mr. Graham floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

"Please slow down, sir!!!" pleads the worried driver, but Billy keeps the
pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

"Oh, man, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the driver.

Billy pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the
cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the
radio.

"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher. The Chief gets on
the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

"So bust him," said the Chief.

"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.

Then the Chief exclaimed, "All the more reason!"

"No, I mean really important," said the cop.

The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "Governor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

"Well," said the Chief, "who is it?"

Cop: "I think it's God!"

Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"

Cop: " He's got Billy Graham for a limo driver!"

*********************************
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture .....of handcuffs

*********************************
A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:59 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 445 words, total size 3 kb.

Kim du Toit has a post up on some news that you won't see in the LSM. It seems that if it doesn't bleed, or put Bush in a bad light, it isn't news. Do yourself a favor and go read it; not everything is as bad as the powers of the Media Elite would have you believe.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 06:43 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 64 words, total size 1 kb.

"It is the soldier, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag."
~Father Dennis Edward O'Brien, Sargeant, USMC

I thought that this was appropiate for the day after Memorial Day. I think that it should be a poster put up in evey classroom in America. It seems that some peope don't "get it". While cruising through some comments at other sites I found statements such as "Most days I don't even think about the war anymore. I don't know anyone who's over there or who's going so it's not a big deal to me...." and "It's all about choices. If your smart you don't choose to join the army or whatever, cause you know you are probably going to have to go to a war somewhere."

To that person, I say,: You DO know everyone that is over there; they are your fellow Americans. They are the clerk in the store you buy your groceries at; they are the teachers that taught at your school; they are the policemen that patrolled your neighborhood; She was a teller at your bank, he was the guy that delivered your new furniture. They are all a part of your everyday life, and they put their regular lives on hold so that you could continue to blithely remain ignorant of the evil that is howling outside the door like a ravenous wolf. A soldier has nothing to do with choosing where and when, or even why, they fight. They make no policy, they just carry it out, trusting that our leaders know the where,when and why.

You may have a problem with the decisions of those leaders, and protest them if you feel strongly enough about it, but just remember that it is those selfsame soldiers that give you those rights, and keep you comfortable enough to be able to debate the politics.

Yes, if you join the Armed Services, there is a possibility that you will be called on to travel to some pretty miserable places and do some miserable, dirty, and dangerous things. Many times you won't even know why your there. But you have to have faith that in some way, it helps furthur the maintenance of our freedom.

In the end, it usually boils down to not letting your squad mates down. You don't think about the big issues, or the high flying rhetoric; you just do the best job you can protecting the guy next to you, and hope he's doing the same for you. But out of that mutual protection comes the force needed to support the the ideals and the rhetoric we can debate about, safely nestled here at home. It's up to US, the people, to hold our leaders accountable. But to be able to hold those leaders accountable, we need to be educated and involved. The troops have been doing their job for the last 200+ years; sadly, the people, especially in the last 30 years haveallen far from their responsibilities.

They have allowed the "experts" to raise their children and instill their public values and haven't kept an eye on just what those "experts" are instilling in the children. Thats a whole other post, but it is part of the problem presented in this one.

All too often, what passes for public debate today is based on the "feelings" that pass for education. Memes are put out as wisdom, and "self-esteem" has been put ahead of hard nosed striving for achievment. History is being warped to fit the agenda of the moment (when it's taught at all), and realities are discounted as being "too dirty" to countenance in realpolitic.

Unless and untill we can return to old fasioned agreement on basic moral tenents and mores, we will always be a nation floundering to come to common agreement. But the Soldier is the person that allows us the time and freedom to come to those agreements. NEVER FORGET Honor their sacrifices by
takeing back your responsiblities as a citizen in a free Republic and do your best to live up to them.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 06:16 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 750 words, total size 5 kb.

My friend Catfish sent this along...and like it said; if you agree, pass it along, and so I am. To you.


I thought I should pass this along, it gives everyone a perspective on what a reality check is all about.

Try driving around as a Gringo in Mexico with no liability insurance and have an accident.

Enter Mexico illegally...Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law or any of that nonsense.

Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and your entire family.

Demand bilingual nurses and doctors.

Demand free bilingual local government forms, bulletins, etc.

Procreate abundantly.

Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behavior with, "It is a cultural United States thing... You wouldn't understand, pal."

Keep your American identity strong. Fly Old Glory from your rooftop or proudly display it in your front window or on your car bumper.

Speak only English at home and in public, then insist that your children do likewise.

Demand classes on American culture in the Mexican school system.

Demand to be eligible for Mexican retirement funds into which you never contributed.

Demand a local Mexican driver license. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to legitimize your unauthorized, illegal presence in Mexico.

Insist that local Mexican law enforcement teach English to all its officers.

Good luck! Because it will never happen. It will not happen in Mexico or any other country in the world..except right here in the United States...Land of the naive! If you agree, pass it on. If you don't, move to Mexico...or Iraq...or France.

Oh... And one more thing... don't drink the water.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 01:15 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 288 words, total size 2 kb.

I picked up my copy of the local newspaper to day (The Indianapolis Star)and there on the banner was:"Judge; Parents can't teach Pagan beliefs" :Father appeals order in divorce decree that prevents couple from exposing son to Wicca.

Seems that Cale J. Bradford, chief judge of the Marion Superior Court, took it upon himself to dictate what form of religeous instruction the child involved in this divorce could be exposed to.

This caused a RCOB moment for me to be sure. I am not a Wiccan, but I am familier with Wiccan precepts and main beliefs, and I can see nothing in those beliefs that could in any way harm this young man, in fact I believe that they can be a beautiful enhancement of mainstream religious beliefs...I know quite a few people that consider themselves as "_______/Wiccan". They participate in both creeds without any seeming dichotomy at all.

For a member of the Judiciary to place such an arbitrary order in a divorce decree ESPECIALLY as there had been no complaint from either party about religeous beliefs is nothing less than governing a private belief by judicial fiat.

I can only say I am ashamed that a member of the party I am nomially affiliated with could could attempt such an outrageous grab of power as a member of the judiciary. This is not the first time that Judge Bradford has tried to expand the scope of the judiciary.

I hope, (and believe) that this travesty will be overturned at the next appellate level, but the fact remains that it happened at all is a sign of something wrong in the state of Indiana. Hoosiers have always prided themselves on common sense and a certain tolerance of belief.

Yes, we have our share of the ultra-radicals on BOTH sides of the spectrum, but the majority usually discounts them as the idiots that they are. For an authority figure such as a judge, especially a Chief Judge of a division, to act in such a manner is a blot on the entire State, Christian majority, and the conservative movement. I find it intolerable that I will be colored by that same brush by virtue of believing in a conservative POV.

This action was NOT in line with conservatism, but it will be held up as a poster issue by those that look at conservatives as the bogeymen trying to restrict their beliefs. True Conservatives want everyone to have the freedom to practice their own beliefs without interference from any outside source; up till now we could cite the ACLU and some fringe groups such as the Atheists for a Free America as the main proponents against that freedom of practice, now, alas, we have one of the "mainstream" doing the same.

Citizens need to keep aware of what all their public officials are doing in their name, regardless of political affiliation, and protest at the first sign of over-reaching by those officials.

You may be assurred that I will remember Judge Bradford in his next standing for election, and will work to ensure that it isn't a successful one.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 10:10 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 523 words, total size 4 kb.

DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbra Streisand sings for you.

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

REPUBLICAN, Believer in Capitalism
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support
a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your
government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you
for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are
surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to
the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary
cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks
of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private
parts. Then you kill them and claim a U.S. bomb blew them up while
they were in the hospital.

IRAQIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the
best-looking cow.

NEW YORK CORPORATION
You have fifteen million cows.
You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you
pick some fat cow from Arkansas

Hat Tip to SlagleRock

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 10:42 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 587 words, total size 4 kb.

Ever wonder what happens when a computer graphics artist gets bored?

Here's some possible results:

Now THERE'S a ride I'D like to take!

And yes, some Voyeurism:

HAVE A BLESSED DAY!

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 08:37 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 43 words, total size 2 kb.

John McCain,R(hino)-Az. has just convinced 6 of his fellow R(hinos) to bend over and take it from the DemoncRat minority. Only McCain and Lindsey Graham had the guts to openly display their cowardice, but to you five others, you WILL be found out, and we WILL remember the next election cycle.

Lord Spatula says it all. I agree., with the sentiment, if not the florid rhetoric.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 04:10 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 82 words, total size 1 kb.

Gary Varval's cartoon says it all. The local government here is preparing to limit our individual freedom ( for our own good, of course!).

It's taken a longer time to get this anti-smoking legislation enacted here than in a lot of other large cities, but it seems that the forces of the nanny state will have triumphed in the end....

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 01:59 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 74 words, total size 1 kb.

Seems that Judge Joan Humphrey Lefkow wants to have legislation enacted banning what she calls ""truly dangerous" verbal attacks on judges that might lead to violent action."

Judge Lefkow, welcome to the world of the average citizen. How many times have ordinary citizens tried to bring their verbal tormentors to court, only to be told that "free speech is a valid defense" for the defendant? And how many times has the verbal torment escalated into physical violence? Why should Judges receive any different treatment?

Free speech for all entails some personal responsibility. Making Judges a separate class is not the answer. There are already laws against "incendiary speech", let them live under those as all the rest of us do.

Federal Judges already have special protection by the US Marshalls Service, and I don't begrudge them that. It's in the nature of their profession that they will receive more (and more likely real) threats against their persons and that of their familes, and they do deserve that protection. But when it comes to singleing out speech against one segment of the population for special protection.....IF the Congress does enact such legislation, we may as well start deciding who the Glorious Leader will be....we will no longer be a Republic in any case.

Hat tip to DK for the heads up!

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 01:20 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 236 words, total size 2 kb.

As you can see, the cover story shows an American flag, dirtied and tossed in a trash can, its staff snapped in two. The large white text reads, "Amerika ga shinda hi", which translates to "The day America died."

For the complete story, go to Rising Sun. If what you read there doesn't prove to you that something is truly rotten at Newsweek, then you are living far up the river of De Nile.

Hat tip to Jack for the heads up

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:17 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 90 words, total size 1 kb.

This is just a humorous parody, if it isn't actually true... :

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is just so priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.

A relative died this past January, and Citibank billed her for January and February for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now it was somewhere around $60.00.

I placed a call to Citibank:

"I am calling to tell you that she died in January."

Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Me: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."

Citibank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been."

Me: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

Citibank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"

Me: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

Citibank: "Excuse me?"

Me: "Did you just get what I was telling you--The part about her being dead?"

Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."

Supervisor gets on the phone:
Me: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."

Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Me: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

Citibank: (Stammer). "Are you her lawyer?"

Me: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)

Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

Me: "Sure." (Fax number is given)

After they get the fax:

Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."

Me: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."

Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."

Me: "Would you like her new billing address?"

Citibank: "That might help."

Me: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery
Hwy 129,

plot number 6 9

Odessa, Texas."

Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"

Me: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?"

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 11:57 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 383 words, total size 3 kb.

LindaSOG has an enlightening post on Judicial Activism. I'm proud to say that, apparently, I meet ALL the criteria to be a right wing radical.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 04:30 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 35 words, total size 1 kb.

Welcome The Warrior Poet to the blog-family. Mamamontezz has struck again.

To all you readers that don't blog themselves, should you want to get your feet wet, send me an e-mail, or leave yours in the comments, with what your idea for the perfect blog for you would be, and I'm sure that Mama will set you up in your own little domecile where you can express yourself, rant and rave, or just plain gossip.

She will set you up in Blog-City.com, which is a free hosting provider, and she loves making banners to fit your personality/site thrust. Should you wish to express your gratitude for the effort, she would accept a contribution to her tip jar, but thats by no means compulsorary.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 10:53 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 131 words, total size 1 kb.

Hillary Clinton is supposed to be "the smartest woman in politics"....
She keeps insisting that her focus is to get re-elected to her New York Senate seat....So WHY is she inviting a group of Iowans to a fund raiser in D.C.?

Conventional wisdom is that she will be the one to beat in the Democratic Primaries in 2008. Everyone is taking it as a given that she WILL be running for President, her protestations of "only being interested in retaining her Senate seat" to the contrary.

Seems that schemers and liars just can't ever be open in their actions, it's contrary to their nature; but to believe that the electorate will buy that she is inviting IOWANS to help raise funds for a NEW YORK Senate seat demonsterates her true contempt of the "little people".

The trouble is that the majority of the Left will drink that Kool-aid with gusto, even knowing it's nothing but a classic, albeit clumsy, misdirection.

As a personal observation; this may be one reason that the Left is so ready to accuse their political counterparts as being cheats and liars, when they accept and even to some extant promote such qualities in their own standard bearers.

Personally, I believe that ALL politicians are liars, it's a necessary talent to have in a successful political career, but it's essential that the politician not be perceived as lying; clumsy misdirections such as espoused by the Clinton political machine just demonstrate that Hillary is just not good candidate material for any non-idiologically driven, thinking, person.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:59 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 263 words, total size 2 kb.

Christopher Hitchens weighs in with his usual razor sharp knife on the Galloway performance in front of Congress.

Too bad the Progressives won't accept any facts put in evidence against their new "hero of the proletariat".... Especially by people that really know the feet of clay person, rather than the iconic representation of Leftist complaint.

My dad always told me that if it waddled like a duck and quacked like a duck, it most likely WASN'T a cat. Yeah, the Old Man doesn't have a way with words...but he is right, nonetheless.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:35 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 100 words, total size 1 kb.

Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.
Robert Heinlein (1907 - 198 , Time Enough For Love--1978

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:19 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 36 words, total size 1 kb.

Every hour of every day there is a dedicated group of men and women that form themselves into a "thin blue line". The are the glue that keeps a thin veneer of civility in place. They are all heroes, although they are not saints.
They struggle with the same question we all have about life, and our society and where it's headed. But they must put their personal questions aside and try to keep the status quo running smoothly while ensuring the status quo doesn't become a smothering weight that slowly chokes the life out of us.

These are the men and women of Law Enforcement. I am very proud to have once counted myself among their members. They should never be regarded as above the rest of us, they are all too human, with all that entails; BUT they should merit respect for their constant struggle against the evils in our society that threaten to overcome all that is good in life.

Here is a tribute written by one of their own. It touched me deeply. I've been there when they finally managed to cut the last piece of wreckage blocking access to an accident victom, only to find it was too late to help them. I was there on the front porch when a mother found out that her son would never come home again. I had known the son for four years. I was grieving with her, but could not presume to show it, as it would have been unprofessional, and only add to her pain. Deputy Lindsey has composed a fitting tribute, I am humbled to be able to pass it along.

You Don't Remember Me, Do You...
by Tim Lindsey, Lamar County Sheriff's Dept.

You don't remember me, do you...

I was the one who unlocked your car after you accidentally locked the keys and your baby up at the mall.

I was the one who gave you a ride to the gas station when you ran out of gas on that backroad.

I was the one who changed your tire because you couldn't figure out how to work the stupid scissor jack.

I was the one who directed you safely through that busy intersection when the traffic signals weren't working.

I was the one who gave you a jump-start after you left your lights on.

You don't remember me, do you...

I was the one who found the item that identified the guy who raped your daughter.

I was the one who spent my days off in court to testify and help convict the man who beat your son so badly.

I was the one who located your grandmother in the woods that night when it was 22 degrees and she had wandered away from the nursing home.

I was the one who loaned you the raincoat the night we stood and watched your house burn.

I was the one who talked with you for two hours about your son running away from home.

You don't remember me, do you...

I was the one who held your hand, wiped the blood out of you eyes, and calmed you down while the Fire Department cut you out of what was left of your car.

I was the one who called you at 2 a.m. to come pick up your 16 year old daughterbecause she had been drinking too much.

I was the one who knocked on your door at 4 a.m. to let you know your 16 year old daughter would never be coming home again.

I was the one who did CPR on your 3 year old after you found him in the pool.

I was the one who helped deliver your new baby when you didn't quite make it to the ER.

You don't remember me, do you...

I was the one who got that snake out of your bathroom around midnight.

I was the one who got my knees and elbows scraped up fighting with the shoplifter with your carton of cigarettes.

I was the one who took your son for a "ride-along" so he could see what it was really like.

I was the one who gave you the right directions so you wouldn't miss that business meeting.

I was the one who stopped you to let you know your right rear tire was going flat.

You don't remember me, do you...

I was the one who escorted your son's funeral procession from the church to the cemeteryand cried behind my sunglasses because he was my friend, too.

I was the one watched over your place while you were on vacation.

I was the one who worked for you on Christmas Day so you could be off with your family.

I was the one who joked around with you after your truck got hit by a trainand you walked away without a scratch.

I was the one was able to talk your husband into going into counseling with you.

You don't remember me, do you...

I was the one who got shot when I pulled over a car for a traffic violation and the driver turned out to be an escaped convict who had sworn he would never go back to prison.

Oh, by the way, my memorial service is at 2 p.m.

Will you remember me now?

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:08 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 891 words, total size 5 kb.

"Pacifism is a shifty doctrine under which a man accepts the benefits of the
social group without being willing to pay--and claims a halo for his
dishonesty."

-Robert A. Heinlein

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 02:28 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 40 words, total size 1 kb.