As the New Year begins, here are just a few things to keep in mind:

Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one
can die.

Number 8 - Ladies: Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him
without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a
person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky .. not really good for anything,
but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in
hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism.

Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial
tax cut saves you 30 cents?

Number 2 - In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006: We know exactly where one cow with
mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in
America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal
immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department
of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

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H/T to Catfish

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:47 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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