A man was sleeping one night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled
with light, and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him
to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord
explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his
might....

So, this the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sunup
to sundown, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface
of the unmoving rock, pushing with all his might!

Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, Feeling that
his whole day had been spent in vain. Since the man was showing
discouragement, the Adversary (Satan) decided to enter the picture by
placing thoughts into the weary mind: (He will do it every time)!

You have been pushing against that rock for a long time and it hasn't
moved.' Thus, he gave t he man the impression that the task was
impossible and that he was a failure. These thoughts discouraged and
disheartened the man.

Satan said, 'Why kill yourself over this? Just put in your time, giving
just the minimum effort; and that will be good enough.'

That's what the weary man planned to do, but decided to make it a matter
of Prayer and to take his troubled thoughts to The Lord.

'Lord,' he said, 'I have labored long and hard in Your Service, putting
all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this
time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What is
wrong? Why am I failing?'

The Lord responded compassionately, "My friend, when I asked you to
serve Me and you accepted, I told you that yo ur task was to push
against the rock with all of your strength, which you have done.

Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your
task was to push. And now you come to Me with your strength spent,
thinking that you have failed.

But, is that really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and
muscled, your back shiny and brown; your hands are callused from
constant pressure, your legs have become massive and hard.

Through opposition you have grown much, and your abilities now surpass
that which you used to have. True, you haven't moved the rock. But your
calling was to be Obedient and to push and to exercise your Faith and
trust in My wisdom. That you have done. Now I, my friend, will move the
rock. "

At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect
to decipher what He wants, when actually what God wants is just simple
obedience and faith in Him.

By all means, exercise the Faith that moves mountains, but know that it
is still God Who moves The Mountains.

When everything seems to go wrong......................Just P.U.S.H ..

When the job gets you down................................Just P.U.S.H.

When people don't do as you think they should.......Just P.U.S.H.

When your money is 'gone' and the bills are due.....Just P.U.S.H.

When people just don't understand you..................Just P.U.S.H.

P = Pray

U = Until

S = Something

H = Happens

Pass this on to all your loved ones and friends who may need it; they
may get it just in time. 'Though no one can go back and make a brand new
start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.'

Lord, keep me in the company of those who seek the truth, and guard me
from those who believe they have found it. -- Attributed to
Archbishop Donald Caird, retired Primate of the Church of Ireland

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:49 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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'The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental.' - John Steinbeck

1. Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he's too old to fight, he'll just kill you.

2. If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.

3. I carry a gun, 'cause a cop is too heavy.

4. America is not at war. The U.S. Military is at war. America is at the mall.

5. When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.

6. A reporter did a human interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and asked him 'Why do you carry a 45?'. The Ranger responded with, 'Because they don't make a 46.'

7. An armed man will kill an unarmed man with monotonous regularity.

8. The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented on his wearing his sidearm. 'Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you expecting trouble?' 'No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have brought my rifle.'

9. Beware the man who only has one gun. He probably knows how to use it!

H/T Catfish

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:41 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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The Real Story (A far more accurate account of the
events of that fateful morning...)

Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table. He
looks into his small bowl. It is empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?"
he squeaks.

Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks
into his big bowl and it is also empty. "Who's been eating my
porridge?!?" he roars.

Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and
yells, "For God's sake, how many times do I have to go through this with
you idiots? It was Mummy Bear who got up first. It was Mummy Bear who
woke everyone in the house. It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee. It
was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put
everything away. It was Mummy Bear who swept the floor in the kitchen.
It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch
The newspaper and croissants. It was Mummy Bear who set the damn table.

"It was Mummy Bear who walked the bloody dog, cleaned the cat's litter
tray, gave them their food, and refilled their water.

"And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs
and grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully,
because I'm only going to say this once....

"I HAVEN'T MADE THE DAMN PORRIDGE YET!!!"

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:35 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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At the church's husband's marriage seminar, the Priest asked Luigi, on his upcoming 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.

Luigi replied to the audience "Well, I'v-a tried to treat-a her well, spend-a the money on her, but-a, da best-a is-a dat I took her to Italy for the 20th-a anniversary!

The Priest immediately commented, "Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell the audience what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary..."

Luigi proudly replied, "I'm-a gonna go and-a get her."

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:33 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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When you have a "I Hate My Job" day, try this:
> On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the
> thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson
> &Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.
>
> When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the
> phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing
> and sit in your favorite chair.
>
> Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on
> a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.
>
> Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature from the box and read
> it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:
>
> "Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally
> tested and then sanitized".
>
> Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do
> not work in the thermometer quality control at Johnson & Johnson."
>
> HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB
> THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE A** THAN YOURS . . . .

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:28 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.

1967 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1967 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1967 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1967 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1967 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.

2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

1967 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.

2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.

1967 - Ants die.

2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1967 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

SAD, BUT TRUE

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:25 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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A South Carolina farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called, and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.
The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. Upon arriving at the residence he climbed the utility pole, plugged in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's phone number.
The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and then the telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman
discovered the following:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.
4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

H/T to Catfish

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:24 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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An Americon icon has died. Gen. Paul Tibbits died Thursday in Colunbus ,Ohio.

Gen. Tibbits commanded the Enola Gay, the plane that dropped the first atomic bomb over Hiroshima , Japan on August 6, 1945, leading to the surrender of Japan and the end of WW2 about a week later.

As pilot of one of the most famous flights of WW II, which brought about a quicker surrender from the enemy and a reduction in the loss of Allied lives, and for his leadership and skill with both airplanes and people in times of stress, Paul W. Tibbets, Jr. is enshrined with honor into the National Aviation Hall of Fame.

Gen. Tibbets held the following medals and awards:

Distinguished Flying Cross
Air Medal
Purple Heart
Legion of Merit
European Campaign Medal
Joint Staff Commendation Medal
American Defense Service Medal
W.W.II Victory Medal
Air Force Outstanding Unit Award
American Campaign Medal

Historical revisionists have tried to make Gen. Tibbits out to be the ultimate war criminal, but in the hearts of anyone that truly knows history, he should be revered as someone that saved at least a million lives. Because of the ongoing controversy over the use of the atomic bomb over sixty years later; Gen. Tibbits requested that there be no public funeral, and no headstone placed over his grave, as he did not wish to give detractors of his service a focal point on which to focus their activities upon.
Another example of his selflessness, even in death. This man should have received a state funeral and a monument in tribute to his service and his life; instead he was quietly laid to rest with no fanfare in an unmarked grave.

We have lost a hero and we are all diminished by that loss.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:40 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Read the following explanation before looking at the picture!

This picture is not doctored. Most Syrians struggle to even read Arabic, much less have a clue about English.

So, how do a group of Syrian protest leaders create the most impact w ith their signs by having the standard "Death To Americans"(etc.) slogans printed in English?

Answer: They simply hire an English-speaking civilian! To translate and write their statements into English. Unfortunately, in this case, they were unaware that the "civilian" insurance company employee hired for the job was a retired US Army sergeant!

Obviously, pictures of this protest rally never made their way through the Arab TV networks, but the results were "Priceless."

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 03:06 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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