A man went to the dental surgeon to have a tooth pulled. The dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give the man a shot. "No way, no needles, I hate needles!" the patient said.

The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man again objects. "I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having a gas mask on is suffocating to me."

The dentist then asks if the man has any objection to taking a pill. "No," the patient says, "I am fine with pills.

The dentist then returns and says, "Here is a Viagra tablet."

The patient says, "Wow, I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain pill!"

"It doesn't," said the dentist, "but it will give you something to hold onto when I pull out your tooth!"

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 01:40 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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After a night of drinking, Ron crept into bed
beside his wife Ann who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the
cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing
at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the
hell are you?" demanded Ron,"and what are you doing in my bedroom?"

The mysterious man answered, "This isn't your bedroom. I'm St.
Peter."

Ron was stunned, "You mean I'm dead! That can't be! I have so much
left to do. I haven't even had a chance to say goodbye to my family. You've
got to send me back right away."

St Peter replied, "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a
catch--we can only send you back as a dog or a hen."

Ron was devasted, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house
he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later and he was
covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.

"This ain't so bad," he thought until he felt this strange feeling
welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, "So you're the new hen, how
are you enjoying your first day here?"

"It's not so bad," replies Ron, "but I have this strange feeling inside
like I'm about to explode."

"You're ovulating," explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never
laid an egg before."

"Never," replied Ron.

"Well just relax and let it happen."

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds an egg popped out.
An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the
better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he
laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he
knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had ever
happened to him!

The joy kept coming, and as he was just about to lay his third egg he
felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting,

"Ron, wake up you drunken bastard! You're shitting all over the bed."

H/T to Jack

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 01:37 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Three third graders - an Irish kid, an Italian
Kid and a Redneck kid - are in the playground at Recess.
One of them suggests that they play a new game.
"Let's see who has the largest weenie," he says.
"Okay." They all agree.
The Italian kid pulls down his zipper and whips It out.
"That's nothing," says the Irish kid, whipping His out.
His is a couple of inches longer.
Not to be outdone, the Redneck kid pulls his out.
It is by far the biggest.
That night, eating dinner at home, the Redneck Kid's' mother asks him what he did at school today.
"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math Test and read out loud from a new book . And During recess, my friends and I played 'Let's see Who has the largest weenie'."
"What kind of game is that, honey?" asks the Mother.
"Well, me, Anthony and Patrick each pulled out Our weenies and I had the biggest!
The other kids say it's because I'm a Redneck. Is That true, Mom?"
Mom replies, "No, honey. It's because you're Twenty-three."

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 12:27 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Yeah, she's SUCH a grieving mother that she hasn't placed a marker on her son's grave.

She can travel the world denouncing the war and the Bush administration, she can go have her picture taken with anti-American polititions in Venezuela, she can vacation in Hawaii, she can buy a new VW convertable....she can accept $250,000 in death benefits from the DoD, but she's just grieving too much to even mark her son's grave...after all, it's only been two years.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 11:33 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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"It takes four aspects for a free and democratic society to maintain itself."

"It requires a highly educated population that can write, read, think and vote intelligently."

"It takes a similar moral code whereby everyone adheres to the common good."

"It requires a similar code of ethics whereby citizens adhere to honesty, doing what is right and maintaining those ethics throughout the social fabric."

"Finally, it takes a similar language that allows citizens to discuss, debate and resolve problems."

"We compromise all four with an invasion exceeding four million new people into the USA annually. 20 million illegals to date and climbing. We allow the disintegration of our nation without a whimper."

Go read the entire letter at GuyK's.

One problem, the NEA has promulgated and accelerated the erosion of the "four aspects" for longer than the problem of the ILLEGAL immagrants exacerbated it. We need to revamp the entire educational structure, regardless of what we do about the invasion by illegals.
And we need to do it soon, or this nation will not last another generation.

I would contend that the poor educational system is one factor in why we are even arguing over what to do about the Invaders; had there been an effective education of this last generation, there wouldn't be any question about our course of action.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 11:20 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Here are some random thoughts from Thomas Sowell. He's always worth the read, no matter what topic he is expounding upon.

I honestly believe that Thomas Sowell, William Buckley Jr., John Gailbraith, and Ayn Rand should be required reading before anyone even attempts to consider themselves as starting to be educated.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:39 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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We hear once again from the King of the Moonbats, Howard Dean. Seems that he's more willing to give the benefit of the doubt to Osama Bin Laden than to Karl Rove. Thank G-D that the Democrats still have Dean as the spokesman for their Party; as much as the Republicans have shown themselves to be disappointments to their base, Dean may be the only thing to allow the GOP have a second chance of straightening their act out.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:30 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Neal Boortz has a great example of how are schools are not educating our children, and demonstrates the he's correct when he calls them "government indoctrination centers".

The ONLY true option for the bulk of the populace, should they wish their children to recieve a true education is to home school. Too bad that governmental policies make that option so difficult to do.

We need to abolish the NEA and the Federal Dept. of Education and return choice back to where it belongs, the parents and local communities.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:22 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Well, gas around the Citadel is averageing at around $2.84 a gallon, with only the prospects of furthur rises in sight. The chickens of inane past policies have finally come home to roost, and our current crop of polititians are arguing only over more of the same.

The latest proposal from Dennis Hastert includes a $100. "rebate" to be given to every family to "help them over the hump". EXCUSE ME?!? Given the increase in the costs of all goods due to increased costs of production and transportation absorb that paltry amount faster than a drop of water falling on a hot rock under a desert sun. It's an insult to any logicaly thinking person.

Another part of the proposal resolves to change the tax structure on oil company reserves; effectively imposing a huge tax increase on those companies....and increasing the cost of doing business lowers gas prices at the pumps how? It's bad enough that the general populace should be so ignorant of economics, but for a supposedly highly educated man to pursue such a course is
bordering on the criminal.

Prices are a function of supply and demand, and for at least the last twenty years, the government has fostered policies that served to limit domestically produced supply and making us hostage to the vageries of a volatile Middle East and/or South America.

The Politicoes are trying to blame the oil companies for "gouging", citing "record profits"....and with an uninformed populace, they are getting away with the scapegoatism yet once again. The numbers on the profit side of the ledger do look high, but when you delve into it and determine the profit margin after expenses, you will find that oil is among the lowest returns on investment of any commodities. And when you realize that the GOVERNMENT'S
"profit" from a gallon of gas in the form of taxes is between four and five times higher than the profit realized by the companies themselves, we need to ask ourselves just WHO is doing the gouging.

Government has restricted the oil companies from developing most areas of domestic production; made it economically impossible to increase our refining capabilities for the last twenty two years,mandated "special blends" that increase the cost to the consumer and have made the costs of marketing and distribution much higher than need be.

While some practices of the oil companies are reprehensible, what the government has done is even more so.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:12 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Well, I just got back in the door after a 2125 mile round trip to the Austin Blog Meet. Erin and I both had a GREAT time (even though I still couldn't talk Erin into doing a little range time, she opted to check out some of the retail facilities).

Special thanks to Beth for bringing the wheell chair; it sure came in handy! And extra special thanks to Lord Spatula for increasing my armory by a much needed easy carry piece.

Erin and I had a special adventure on the way home...we drove all those miles, and had an accident only 44 miles from home.

We had just crossed the Indiana state line and were doing splendidly, when for an undetermined reason,(NO I did NOT fall asleep at the wheel, and I have a witness to that!) the car decided it wanted to violate the rules of highway travel and attempted to move laterally instead of a forward motion, taking us over a 15 foot embankment....it then decided that lateral WASN'T a smart move and attempted to move foward over the head sized chunks of limestone in the drainage culvert at the bottom of the embankment. I did manage to keep enough control to keep it from flipping, and neither of us was hurt, except for some hard bumps and bruises. I managed to drive the car out of the culver and up the embankment back onto the highway, but the right front wheel was cracked and the tire was losing air. no way of telling what damage may be hiding on the undercarriage. Erin is covered by AAA, so we just had ourselves towed to the dealership; we should find out the total extant of damage sometime this evening or tomorrow. I really dreaded that call to my Ex to tell her that her car almost got totaled, but wasn't that bad, really....She took it all in stride; her only concern was that neither of us was hurt. I stood there and cried in the dealers lot...I had expected to have to try to run as she atttempted total evisceration on me for damaging her beauty, but instead, I got a hug and a "don't worry about it; thats what insurance is for".

I'm going to take a hot shower and then sleep for about 20 hrs or so, talk to ya'll when I return to the land of the concious.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 08:05 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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