I was doing my daily round of my favorites when I saw this...I HAD to steal it in exchange for ruining my keyboard, it's only fair, right? Spew Alert!

Weekly Grocery Lists for Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist, Summer, 1962:

WEEK ONE
Beans
Bacon
Coffee
Whiskey

WEEK TWO
Beans
Ham
Coffee
Whiskey

WEEK THREE
Beans
Bacon
Coffee
Whiskey
K-Y

WEEK FOUR
Beans
Pancetta
Coffee (espresso grind)
Whiskey
2 tubes K-Y

WEEK FIVE
Fresh Fava beans
Basmati rice
Prosciutto, approx. 8 ounces, thinly sliced
Medallions of veal Porcini mushrooms
1/2 pint of heavy whipping cream
1 Cub Scout uniform, size 42 long
5-6 bottles good Chardonnay
1 large bottle Astro-glide

WEEK SIX
5 lbs.Yukon Gold potatoes
1 pint heavy whipping cream
1 lb. asparagus (very thin)
1 dozen eggs
6 fresh Lemons
500 grams cave-aged Gruyère cheese
100 grams California Black walnuts
2 bunches arugula (alternately, roquette)
500 grams Normandy butter
250 ml extra virgin olive oil, first cold pressing
250 ml Balsamic vinegar (de Modena)
6 yards white silk organdy
6 yards pale ivory taffeta
Case of 1955 Au Bon Climat "Nuites blanches au bouge" Chardonnay
Large tin Crisco

To GuyK

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Dax Montana has a post up belieing the curent Mooonbat meme that our "Armed Services are a broken, dispirited force". All I can say is JUST DAMN!

I think you're wrong Dax; you'd of made a HELL of a soldier. I envy you in the pride you felt that your establishment meant so much to one NCO that he requested it as the backdrop of his reenlistment, that speaks volumes as to your own charactor.

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With all the controversy over cartoons lately, and in my never ending quest to get a fatwah placed against me, I thought that it might be instructive to post a couple cartoons. Both are offensive, though they are each offensive to a different major religion.

I thought it might be instructive to observe the difference in reaction to the cartoons by the adherants of those faiths. Both cartoons involve sex in a manner offensive to the creeds held by those faiths, after all, sex is the hottest trigger to anger the religious.

First the Catholic:

Then the Islamic:

Let the fun begin.

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I'm battleing a bad case of Bronchitis right now and don't feel up to any real posting, but I do have a couple jokes you might enjoy...

The Blonde Baptist Cowgirl

A cowgirl, who is visiting Texas from Arkansas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. She sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When she finishes them, she comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowgirl, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowgirl replies, "Well, you see, I have two sisters. One is in Australia, the other is in Dublin. When we all left our home in Arkansas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my sisters and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowgirl becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. She orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, she comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When she comes back to the bar for the second round, the
bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

The cowgirl looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in her eyes and she laughs.

"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," she explains, "It's just that my husband and I joined the Baptist Church .... and I had to quit drinking."

"Hasn't affected my sisters though."

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This is an oldie, but a goodie:

It was visitor's day at the lunatic asylum. All the inmates were
standing in the courtyard and singing "Ave Maria."

They were singing it beautifully. But oddly, each of them was
holding a red apple in one hand and tapping it rhythmically with
a pencil.

A visitor listened in wonder to the performance and then
approached the conductor.

"I am a retired choir director," he said. "This is one of the
best choirs I have ever heard."

"Yes, I'm very proud of them," said the conductor.

"You should take them on tour," said the visitor, "what are they
called?"

"Surely that's obvious," replied the conductor... "They're the
Moron Tapanapple Choir."

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Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One
day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool,
Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom
of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. Swam to the bottom and
pulled Ralph out.

When the Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she
immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital,
as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have
good news and bad news.

The good news is you're being discharged since
you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in
and saving the life of another patient. I have concluded that
your act displays sound mindedness .

The bad news is Ralph, the patient you saved, hanged
himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.

I am so sorry, but he's dead" Edna replied "He didn't hang himself, I put him
there to dry.

How soon can I go home?"

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Barbados Butterfly has good advice for all those new Interns out there:

(to the tune of "If you're happy & you know it").

If your patient tolerates a Guedel,
Call a Code
If you can't quite feel a pulse,
Call a Code
If you're panicking and new,
And you don't know what to do
If you're panicking and new
Call a Code.

If your registrar wants a Code
Call a Code
If the nurses want a Code
Call a Code
If the patient looks quite ill,
And he's green around the gills,
If the patient looks quite ill,
Call a Code.

If you think the heart has stopped
Call a Code.
If the stridor's getting worse
Call a Code.
If your patient looks quite blue,
And you don't know what to do,
If your patient looks quite blue,
Call a Code.

If the blood pressure is 50
Call a Code.
If the patient's in VT
Call a Code.
If the ICU pooh-poohs
While your man's heading down the tube
If the ICU pooh-poohs
Call a Code.

If the blood is pouring out
Call a Code.
If you need all hands on deck
Call a Code.
If you can't get any help
No matter how loud you yelp
If you can't get any help
Call a Code.

UNLESS the patient is NFR (DNR, for us in the States):

"If the patientÂ’s NFR
Hold their hand
When thereÂ’s nothing left to do
Hold their hand
Leave the crash cart well alone
Get the relatives on the phone
If the patientÂ’s NFR
Hold their hand."

Just HAD to add B-B to the blogroll, under "people that make me think", she's too cool not to visit often.

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Lady Heather's nude pic

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Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a member of the Dutch Parlement, who is under a Fatwah for her public views and association with the murdered film maker,Theo van Gogh, in the making of the film "Submission", spoke with Spiegel, a German News service. In the interview she makes the point that Europe in general needs to stand up to Islamic pressure, if it is to survive as a group of free nations.

here's just a taste:

"There should be solidarity. The cartoons should be displayed everywhere. After all, the Arabs can't boycott goods from every country. They're far too dependent on imports. And Scandinavian companies should be compensated for their losses. Freedom of speech should at least be worth that much to us".

Go read the rest, and if you have any relatives living in Europe, urge them to join in a show of solidarity againt the Islamic assault on their freedom of expression.

And write your Senator's and Congressmen and let them know that you are not happy with the U.S.'s official response to those assaults.
We need to stand together with Europe in the face of assaults on freedom of expression, and not let the pusillanimous assholes of Foggy Bottom weaken us still furthur in the eyes of our joint enemy.

And remember to

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An elderly couple were attending church services, about halfway through she leans over and says " I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?"

He replies " Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

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Four Catholic Mothers

Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are.

The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest.

When he walks into a room, everyone calls him "Father."

The second Catholic woman chirps, "Well, my son is a bishop.

Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic woman says smugly, "Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal.

Whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence.

The first three women give her this subtle "Well...?"

She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'2", hardbodied, well hung, Male stripper.

Whenever he walks into a room, women say, "My God...."

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I saw this over at GuyK's place and thought I'd give it a go. It does sum me up pretty well for the most part, although I do think I'm more agreeable than the test would make me out to be.

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations. A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you. You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness. Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life. Most things in your life are organized and planned well. But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have low agreeableness. Your self interest comes first, and others come later, if at all. In general, you feel that people are not to be trusted. And you're skeptical that anyone else really feels differently. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:55 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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When I read this story I was outraged at the callous manner of some of our rear echelon types treat the "grunts on the ground".

Seems that 1st Lt. William “Eddie” Rebrook IV had been badly injured by an IED, and in the course of his battlefield treatment, his Kevlar armor had been removed and burned as a biohazard. But since that fact wasn't noted in the action report of the treatment, he was required to pay $700. for it's replacement as he was being processed for a medical discharge.

It was ever thus, the rear echelon always follows the letter of the law, irregardless of the law's intent, or the extenuating circimstances attendant on some losses. This is an example of poor leadership in Lt. Rebrook's Bn. structure; his CO could have filed for an exception, and SHOULD have.
But it wouldn't have looked "right" on the record, and so, once again, the common grunt is left holding the bag.

It makes me wonder sometimes just how we get the best men and women that we DO to serve, when the middle layers of the command structure are more concerned with paperwork and appearences rather than what is best for the troops, especially troops that have sacrificed so much, physicaly and mentally.

The Army, and the Nation, owe Lt. Rebrook an apology. I tender mine here.
LT. REbrook, Thank you for your service, and I wish you the best of luck in all your endeavors. You did your duty, and I am ashamed that you were subjected to this travesty of injustice.

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Once again Liberals have used what should have been a solemn and dignified occasion to honor a person who had dedicated her life to the betterment of her people and turned it into a freak show to display their BDS to the world.

Expose the Left has the video, should you wish to torment yourself with viewing Idiotarian Idiocy at it's most strident.

Only the RADICAL Left would turn a funeral into a political rally and feel no shame in doing so.

Jimmy Carter has shown his true colors yet again, and any iota of respect I may have held for him as a man (I never had ANY for him as a President) got wiped away with his totally inappropiate message. "Old Joe" was bad, but face it, he's hardly a household figure; for Mr. Carter to bloviate as he did was the height of political hubris that ill reflected the Democratic Party in it's current form.

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Whenever you haveing a bad day, just think of the poor schmuck below. It's sure to make your troubles seem a bit more trifleing than at first glance.

To Catfish

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ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when
you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

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I have the distinct feeling that soon we will be engaged in a military action in Iran. With the repeated public statements of the elected President of that benighted country, calling for the eradication of Israel, or at the least, the relocation of Israel to Europe, and their throwing out the UN atomic watchdogs in their continued quest to enriching uranium, I don't see that diplomacy really has much of a chance to work, and we simply CAN'T allow a nuclear Iran to become a reality.

I can hear one of the first questions from my liberal readers: "what gives us the right to determine whether or not Iran goes nuclear?"

To which I can only respond that being the biggest dog in the pack gives us the right, no, the RESPONSIBLITY to prevent that occurance. We are the only ones that CAN.

We owe it to our citizens, unless you think we have to wait until one of our cities goes up in a mushroom cloud before we can respond? And make no mistake, a nuclear Iran WILL result in that happening, sooner or later.

We had the chance to prevent North Korea from being a nuclear power, and we chose to go the endless diplomatic route until it was a fait accompli, much to our disadvantage today. We cannot afford to make that same mistake again.
As crazy as the Dictator of NoKo is; next to the leadership of Iran, he's a model of mental stability, and at least in NoKo, we have the Chinese exercising some control over the situation. In Iran, there is nothing but the dreams of a religeous zealot anxious to bring on an Apocalypse that he believes will bring on the New Caliphate.

It will not be an easy fight; it will be bloody and long, but it is a fight that will have to fought.

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I've been informed that the dates for Texas Blogfest will be April 28 through the 30th. and that it will be held in Austin instead of Dallas this year.

Mamamontezz won't be able to attend this year, there just isn't enough time left in her vacation bank.

I don't know HOW I'm going to afford airfare/hotel/car rental, but I fully intend to be there. Maybe I can sell one of my lesser organs to finance the trip.

Better yet, maybe SS will FINALLY get off their dead asses and give me the money I'm entitled to for two years back benefits. If I hadn't had to pay the fine/court costs in my fight with the city; I'd have had at least a third of what I need for the trip; it really galls me that the money is languishing in the coffers of Indianapolis, instead of my travel fund...but facing 3 months in an 8 x 10 cell for contempt appealed to me even less.

If any of you are driving to the Fest from up here in the snowlands, how about swinging by the Circle City on your way? We can share driving chores and fuel costs. Just an idea...

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Here's a few more pics of the goings on in Florida...DAMN I miss that state!

Staci in all her glory

Had a crasher; he had heard the G.L.O.R.'s would be there...

He found out that Lying Liberals aren't tolerated by G.LO.R.'s.

Here's Staci, the Lady Heather, Stella, and Dea plotting the downfall of civilization as we men know it.

Of Course Neil has the proper response: BRING IT ON!

Rocking the night away

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Some students at the
University of Maryland are
required to take a difficult
class in physics.

One day, the professor was discussing
a particularly complicated
concept. A student rudely
interrupted to ask, "Why do we
have to learn this stuff?"

"To save lives," the
professor responded quickly
and continued the lecture.

A few minutes later, the same
student spoke up again. "So
how does physics save lives?"
he persisted.

"It prevents idiots like you
from graduating as civil
engineers and building
things," replied the professor.

To Catfish

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While perusing my e-mail the other day I came upon a very heartening letter from one of my favorite bloggers.

It seems that she had noticed that I had "borrowed" her little teddy bear sign for acknowledgement of sources. She could have been justifiably angry and demand that I cease and desist from stealing her art, but she didn't.

In fact, she redesigned it to fit in better with my site's background color. If THAT isn't a sign of true class, I don't know what is. It's only right that I use it for the first time in acknowledgement of her generosity;

THANK YOU, WILD THING

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If you ever want to learn how to write a really great rant, read this example by Sir Bangor, Paladin of the Rott. Empire.

I wholeheartedly concur with his opinion of the "ROP" and what it's true nature actually is.

You giving lessons in constructing a rant anytime soon, Sir Bangor? I'd be the first to sign up for that course!

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 02:28 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Doctors:

A) The number of doctors in the US is 700,000

B) Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year are 120,000

C) Accidental deaths per physician is 17.14%

Statistics courtesy of the US Dept. of Health & Human Services

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Guns:

A) The number of gun owners in the US is 80,000,000
(yes that's 80 million!)

B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year,
all age groups is 1,500.

C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is 0.001875%

Statistics courtesy of the FBI

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So statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

Remember, guns don't kill people, doctors do.

FACT:

NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS A DOCTOR.

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We should ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!

Out of concern for the public at large, I have withheld statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention.

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