"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."

"Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"

"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

*******************************************************
A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:

Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"

Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."

Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in

Germany. Why must I speak English?"

Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."

*******************************************************

One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.

Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"

The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."

*******************************************************

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them.

So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.

Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."

Ground: "Speedbird 206 Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."

The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."

Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- And I didn't land."

*******************************************************

An F-15 pulled up alongside a C-141 up in the flight levels and managed to contact the cargo plane on the radio. After chatting a while, the fighter pilot said, "Hey, watch this!", and proceeded to do a barrel roll around the C-141.

The C-141 pilot was duly impressed, and called back, "That's nothing. Watch this..."

After two minutes of stright and level flight, the fighter pilot couldn't stand it, and said, "OK, what did you do?".

The C-141 pilot said, "I just got up, walked back to the restroom and took a piss, stretched my legs for a while, then got a cup of coffee."

*******************************************************
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.

One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference:

If it is an American Airlines flight, its 3PM.
If it is Air Force, its 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, its 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, Mickey's big hand is on the 12 and Mickey's little hand is on the 3.
If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, its Thursday afternoon."

*******************************************************

I have a friend that used to fly out of PDK near Atlanta in the "olden days".

He knew the tower contoller personally, and one night he called him up on approach and said, "Charlie, this is N_____. Clear the field, I'm coming in on one engine."

On final approach, the tower said, "Damn you Clarence, you've only got one engine!".

*******************************************************

Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"

Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."

Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact

Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"

Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."

###########################################

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 08:02 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 740 words, total size 5 kb.

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.

A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of
security while you're actually being screwed.

Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:14 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 76 words, total size 1 kb.

Vel Prieto of Babalu Blog has put into words what any correct thinking person would think of Amnesty International's statements about Gitmo being a THE "gulag" of our times.

AND as one commenter suggested, lest you think that this is just a RightWingNut type propaganda, Google: "Amnesty International"Cuba(526,000results) and then "Amnesty International" /guantanamo -guantánamo.(303,000 results): in other words, Amnesty international has over 1/2 as many current referrals to reports/"informative alerts" for ONE facility that has been operating for less than five years as it does for HUNDREDS of prisons that have been in operation for more than 40 years. And I challenge you to peruse all 526,000 of those results about the Castro prisons and find ONE of them referred to as a "gulag"....

Lets see...we have a facility with color tv. microwave ovens, flush toilets, shower facilities, three "hots" and a cot for every prisoner. Where a prisoner is "tortured" by losing a little sleep when he has been recalterent...and yes, don't forget, they may have to listen to some of that evil western rock music when the guards want to hear something from home. And its a Gulag, I tell you!

Contrast that to a multileval prison, where the excrement from the upper levels descend down through slits in the floor to accumulate in the lowermost cells; where the prisoners lie on the bare concrete, are never certain as to when they may receive food, but are assured that when they do, it will be of the variety that a farmer here would be embarrassed to slop his hogs with. Where REAL torture is utilyzed on a daily, and for some prisoners on a 24 hr basis. Where a common form of "punishment" is to attach the jumper cables to a prisoner's gonads....NOT to extract military information vital to protecting soldiers in an active war zone, mind you, or even to obtain a confession of a crime. It's done because the guards are bored, and they can. This has been occurring for over 40 years.

And when making their speeches on the heinious activities in countries around the world, AI is strangley silent when it comes to Cuba...as they were with the Gulags in Siberia, or the trading in human misery in North Korea....but they sure can trumpet it loud when there is an incident of fraternity type hazing in a US facility. AI is morally bankrupt. I suggest that you don't support them in any of their endevors, although I do feel sorry for that; AI COULD have been a great force for good in the world, until idiology triumphed over their mission of highlighting state-sponsered atrocities.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 10:27 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 452 words, total size 3 kb.

Here is the Story.

Here is Mamamotezz's take on it:

This is so much crap.
IF he was involved in a traffic incident,
IF a group of irate individuals had surrounded his vehicle,
IF he felt his safety and his child's safety were compromised,
IF he believed that the rock eluded to in this sniveler's piece was
only the trigger item to what could have been an escalating situation,
IF he felt he had no recourse but to pull the gun,
then he did exactly the right thing.

He pulled it before the other person was able to throw the rock and hit
the car, potentially entering it and hurting his child, also
potentially inciting the rest of this angry group into joining in.

Given the limited information in this editorial piece, common actually,
since no one wants the facts to get in the way of an opinion, I still
find no fault in the actions of this driver. Had I angered a group of
unknown people and felt threatened by their bahaviors, I would have done
exactly the same. '

Tell Reginald Denny it was only a rock and only meant to damage his
truck.
*************************************************************
I can only say that I agree with Mama. The editorialist tried the GFW tactic of saying it "wasn't politeness engendered by the weapon, it was fear" Well Exxxxcuuuuuse me! Obviousman is apparently a newspaper editor in Salt Lake City. use of a weapon in self defense is SUPPOSED to engender fear in the possible recipients of lethal action, and to stop escalation to the point where that force is required; thats the non-lethal purpose of a weapon.

I suppose that Mr. Schanze could have just waited until the crowd got really ugly before doing anything....but by his actions, he forstalled any escalation in the incident, and no one was hurt or any further property damaged.

The last sentence in the opinion is particularly telling:
"Some people, who carry large sums of money or have specific reasons to feel endangered, may be safer if they are armed.
The rest of us are not. "

Just HOW in HELL does this man presume to inform us that "we'd be safer if we didn't have the means to defend ourselves when we feel threatened"?!?
It's hard to tell if Mr. Schanze was legally justified from the meager facts in the story, but the fact remains that, in HIS mind at least, HE felt threatened enough to warrent exposing his weapon, AND he didn't USE deadly force, he merely showed himself capable of doing so, should the situation come to justify it, and in the process, defused the situation. I say give the guy a slap on the back and a "well done".

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 12:29 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 469 words, total size 3 kb.

You know you need a new lawyer WHEN....


During your initial consultation, he tries to sell you Amway.

He tells you his last good case was a "Budweiser"

When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.

He picks the jury by playing "Duck-duck-goose"

During the trial, you catch him playing his Gameboy.

A prison guard is shaving your head..

Every couple of minutes, he yells "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!"
and downs a shot.

He frequently gives juror number 4 the finger.

He places a large "NO REFUNDS" sign on the defense table.

He begins his closing with "As Ally McBeal once said..."

Just before he says "Your Honor", he makes little quotation marks in
the air with his fingers.

The sign in front of his office reads "Practicing law since 2:30pm".

Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge "Whatever."

He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs".

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 10:53 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 161 words, total size 1 kb.

Kim du Toit is one of the best proponants of conservative/libertarian thought I have ever read. Whenever I falter in ability to express my own reasoning on any particular issue why I think as I do, I can usually find that he has done so with a laser like clarity.

Such is the case with his essay Traitors Within Our Walls. Karlo got me to thinking about those "soldiers of a different stripe". His heroes, my traitors. This essay refutes karlo's basic philosophy in a way that I never could.

Kim showed by historical example of the grave danger these people pose to the Republic, by applying those examples to the present day. He said it far better than I ever could. Do yourself a favor and read it. Savor it. Make it part of your continuing education.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 12:25 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 146 words, total size 1 kb.

One of my favorite Moonbats responded to my "quote of the day" post with the following insightful historical/political reasoning:

What a quote! If this were the case, the Nazi's should have been the free-est people in the world. Apart from the oft-mentioned Nazis, I don't know of anywhere in the world where this has been true. Burma is full of soldiers and it's hardly free. South Korea obtained elections only after numerous occasions in which soldiers (supported by U.S. complicity) massacred student protesters. What could you possibly be thinking when you wrote this, Deftsman? The people you constantly vilify are also "soldiers" (albeit, of a different stripe.)

Riiiight Karlo...just tell me ANY progress that have been engendered by those "soldiers of a different stripe" you put up as your heroes...Lets see...

Affirmative Action? nope, those programs have arguably set back race relations 20 years by creating a divisive atmosphere, where even those that succeed by their own merits are seen to have benefitted by a condescending attitude of "you made it because we let you".

Progressive Education? What a joke! we have the highest drop-out rates in history, with the lowest academic achievment ever,even among those that do graduate. Oh, they can spout memes of "evil conservative" and "power to the poor"...too bad that they can't read the diploma that says that they're "educated". They do have great self-esteem..about WHAT, I have no idea. These are the same graduates that look on no increase in funding of their pet social projects as a CUT in funding.

Social Progessivism...there is an old saying that "you get what you pay for(subsedize)" The social welfare programs have certainly proved that. Progressives blame evil corporations and brutal government...yet, since the "Great Society" programs of Lyndon Johnson, we as a society have spent ever increasing amounts of money to support the poor, with the result of having MORE poor.

Protest Immoral War....Lets see...they have "die ins" tying up the normal conduct of business of the inhabitants of the cities where they occur; they have puke fests on city hall steps and wonder why no one is listening to them (after all they DO have such high self-esteem!) Meanwhile, all their protests serve to do is encourage those working against us, and prolonging the war itself.

On to the gist of your contention that soldiers don't guarantee our rights by exemplifying instances of a conjunction of large groups of soldiers and tyrrany:

The fact is that armies in and of themselves are only tools of the governing regime. A tyrranical regime uses the army to bolster its own sick hold on power. In a free society, that same army guarantees that it remains free.

The freedoms we enjoy were wrested by dint of force of arms. Or I suppose you believe all we really needed to have done was puke on the steps of the Governors Residence, and the British crown would have seen the error of it's ways?

All we need have done was protest how racist we were against the indigenous peoples of Hawaii, and the Japanese would never have bombed Pearl Harbor?
I'm SURE that Hitler was amenable to calm and rational protests against his actions, and WW11 could have been avoided if only those with calmer heads had just said "we'll talk to Chancellor Hitler"

The REALITY is that we live in a world where, in the end, force can and does prevail. The basic moral attitude and sensibilities backing those forces make the difference whether they are used for good or ill.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 10:38 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 601 words, total size 4 kb.

A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop
with their nine children.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes.
When the bus arrives,
they find it overloaded and
only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.
After a while,
the husband gets irritated by the
ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk,
and says to him,
"Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick?
That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies,
"If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick,
we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."

*************************************************

A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. Now he had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.

When he came to senses, he motioned for her to come near him. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"

"What dear?" She asks gently.

"I think you bring me bad luck."

**************************************************

Energy Efficiency -- While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor. Attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step on exhaust."

**************************************************

A minister in Florida lamented that it was difficult to get his message across to his congregation: "It's so beautiful here in the winter," he said, "that heaven doesn't interest them."

"And it's so hot here in the summer that hell doesn't scare them."

**************************************************

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 09:34 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 368 words, total size 3 kb.