August 29, 2005

AN APOLOGY

This letter is a bit dated,being written at the height of the Abu Grahib scandal, yet with all the clamor from the Left on "why are we there?",and "why do they hate us?"; it does provide a starting place for discussion.

NOTE:Snopes has this as being "under research"...but even if it's not written by the purported person, SOMEONE wrote it, and I think it's held up quite well as an answer to the whining of the Patchouli scented crowd. If Dan Blather can use overtly fake documents and still be defended by that same crowd as bringing the word of truth to power, than the question of authorship of this fades to insignificence

An apology from a Three Star Marine Corps General...

This "Letter of Apology" was (purportedly) written by Lieutenant General
Chuck Pitman, US Marine Corps, Retired:

"For good and ill, the Iraqi prisoner abuse mess will remain an issue. On the one hand, right thinking Americans will abhor the stupidity of theactions while on the other hand, political glee will take control and fashion this minor event into some modern day massacre.

I humbly offer my opinion here:

I am sorry that the last seven times we Americans took up arms and sacrificed the blood of our youth, it was in the defense of Muslims(Bosnia, Kosovo, Gulf War 1, Kuwait, etc.).

I am sorry that no such call for an apology upon the extremists came after 9/11.

I am sorry that all of the murderers on 9/11 were Islamic Arabs.

I am sorry that most Arabs and Muslims have to live in squalor under savage dictatorships.

I am sorry that their leaders squander their wealth.

I am sorry that their governments breed hate for the US in their religious schools, mosques, and government-controlled media.

I am sorry that Yassar Arafat was kicked out of every Arab country and high-jacked the Palestinian "cause."

I am sorry that no other Arab country will take in or offer more than a token amount of financial help to those same Palestinians.

I am sorry that the USA has to step in and be the biggest financial supporter of poverty stricken Arabs while the insanely wealthy Arabs blame the USA for all their problems.

I am sorry that our own left wing, our media, and our own brainwashed masses do not understand any of this (from the misleading vocal elements of our society like radical professors, CNN and the NY TIMES).

I am sorry the United Nations scammed the poor people of Iraq out of the "food for oil" money so they could get rich while the common folk suffered.

I am sorry that some Arab governments pay the families of homicide bombers upon their death.

I am sorry that those same bombers are brainwashed thinking they will receive 72 virgins in "paradise."

I am sorry that the homicide bombers think pregnant women, babies, children, the elderly and other noncombatant civilians are legitimate targets.

I am sorry that our troops die to free more Arabs from the gang rape rooms and the filling of mass graves of dissidents of their own making.

I am sorry that Muslim extremists have killed more Arabs than any other group.

I am sorry that foreign trained terrorists are trying to seize control of Iraq and return it to a terrorist state.

I am sorry we don't drop a few dozen Daisy cutters on Fallujah.

I am sorry every time terrorists hide they find a convenient "Holy Site."

I am sorry they didn't apologize for driving a jet into the World Trade Center that collapsed and severely damaged Saint Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church - one of our Holy Sites.

I am sorry they didn't apologize for flight 93 and 175, the USS Cole, the embassy bombings, the murders and beheadings of Nick Berg and Daniel Pearl, etc....etc!

I am sorry Michael Moore is American; he could feed a medium sized village in Africa.

America will get past this latest absurdity. We will punish those responsible because that is what we do.

We hang out our dirty laundry for the entire world to see. We move on.

That's one of the reasons we are hated so much. We don't hide this stuff like all those Arab countries that are now demanding an apology.

Deep down inside, when most Americans saw this reported in the news, we were like - so what? We lost hundreds and made fun of a few prisoners. Sure, it was wrong, sure, it dramatically hurts our cause, but until captured we were trying to kill these same prisoners. Now we're supposed to wring our hands because a few were humiliated?

Our compassion is tempered with the vivid memories of our own peoplekilled, mutilated and burnt amongst a joyous crowd of celebrating Fallujahans.

If you want an apology from this American, you're going to have a long wait!
You have a better chance of finding those seventy-two virgins.

Chuck Pitman Lieutenant General, USMC (Ret)

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 03:47 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 832 words, total size 5 kb.

Reason?

Cindy Sheehan, media darling of every Left-wing anti-war/anti-American group has stated that her purpose in Crawford is to Ask President Bush one simple question: "Why did my son have to die in Iraq?".

Well "Mother" Sheehan, you can go home now, because I have your answer, and there is no furthur need to distract the President.

WHY did Casey die? Because he was a man who understood that we HAVE to fight THIS kind of idiology:

In a recent sermon by Sheik Ibrahim Mudeiris, which ran on the Palestinian Authority's official TV station: (emphasis mine)

"The day will come when we will rule America. The day will come when we will rule Britain and the entire world - except for the Jews. The Jews will not enjoy a life of tranquility under our rule because they are treacherous by nature, as they have been throughout history."

THAT is why Casey enlisted, REENLISTED, fought, and ended up making the ultimate sacrifice.

You may not have agreed with his decisions "Mother" Sheehan, but at least be proud of the fact that he made those decisions to maintain your freedom to dishonor his sacrifice with your media antics.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:25 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 197 words, total size 1 kb.

Starvation in Niger

Le Shawn Barbor has an interesting post about a problem occuring in Niger...If you are a big contributor to food aid to Africa organizations, you should read this.

Le Shawn summed it up succinctly with this little gem:

"HmmÂ…making babies with multiple women, knowing the state will feed them. Why does that sound familiar?"

When you consider the amount of food/materiel/ developement loans that have poured into the African continent over the last thirty years or so, you'd THINK that there would have been some slight improvement in the average person's standard of living, wouldn't you?

As an aside, while no one can be for a system of white control of a majority black country, look at the results of black takeover of government.... as one example; Rhodesia was once the breadbasket of Africa, now it's experiencing famine on a grand scale.

The fact that Blacks took over isn't the problem, the problem seems to be because the Blacks that came into power are all socialists, and where socialism rears it's ugly head, misery and oppression seem to naturally follow. Add into the mix the long standing inter-tribal animosities, and you have a system that can only result in continual decline and misery. Adding foreign funds only extends the time it takes to change the system for the betterment of the people.

I've sadly come to the conclusion that Kim du Toit has it right, barricade the continent, arm all the citizens, and let them fight it out among themselves.

As he says, in a nutshell emphasis mine)

"Africa has to heal itself. The West canÂ’t help it. Nor should we. The record speaks for itself."

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 02:46 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 281 words, total size 2 kb.

August 28, 2005

Combat Footage

Subject:

Actual footage of a person being shot at close range.


Note! This is for the guys only, the girls probably will not want to see this!


Read the below to prepare you for the actual combat footage.


Seeing folks actually pulling the trigger on another human may not be your cup of tea.


War can be a brutal event. We tend to sit back in our living rooms, and view the barrage of information that comes across our television. We can easily become desensitized to the real gravity and danger of the battle front. Lives may be ended or altered forever during the heat of battle.


When I first saw this photo, my heart was instantly brought face to face with "cold" reality. Yet at the same time, it made me realize that like any soldier, I'm just a guy, too. This moment of conflict, on some distant shore, truly captures the results of what can happen when an enemy is totally exposed.


I put the footage below the fold to avoid shocking the sensative.

more...

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 03:06 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 204 words, total size 1 kb.

August 27, 2005

No Connection....

Do you remember Abdul Rahman Yasin? He was the bomb maker for the 1993 WTC bombing. Guess where he ran to after the bombing?

It was Baghdad, where he was given a home, a car and a stipend.

"I was the security officer in charge of the unit," at Salman Pak, an ex-Iraqi lieutenant general told Frontline anonymously in a November 6, 2001 interview. "This unit was under the direct supervision and control of the Iraqi Intelligence Service," he added. "And the fact that the training was concentrated on a plane made it even stranger as far as I was concerned."

"This camp is specialized in exporting terrorism to the whole world," former Iraqi army captain Sabah Khodada told PBS's Frontline in an October 14, 2001 interview. Khodada worked at Salman Pak. He said that instruction there was "all for the general concept of hitting and attacking American targets and American interests." He added: "We saw people getting trained to hijack airplanes...They are even trained how to use utensils for food, like forks and knives provided in the plane...They are trained how to plant horror within the passengers by doing such actions." A map of the camp Khodada drew for Frontline closely matches satellite photos of the base, thus bolstering his story.


Czech U.N. Ambassador Hynek Kmonicek affirmed an October 26, 2001 statement by Czech Interior Minister Stanislav Gross: "In this moment we can confirm, that during the next stay of Mr. Muhammad Atta in the Czech Republic there was the contact with the official of the Iraqi intelligence, Mr. Al Ani, Ahmed Khalin Ibrahim Samir, who was on 22nd April 2001 expelled from the Czech Republic on the basis of "activities which were not compatible with the diplomatic status." (in other words, he was caught spying, folks)

it's worth noting that the only time the question of an Iraq-9/11 connection has been legally tested, the verdict was affirmative.

In a woefully underreported decision on May 8, 2003, Manhattan U.S. District Court Judge Harold Baer ruled in favor of two 9/11 victim families who had sued Iraq and others claiming they were culpable in the attacks. The court awarded plaintiffs $104 million based on the Baer's findings.

Here, in part, is what Judge Baer had to say about the Iraq-9/11 connection:

"The opinion testimony of the plaintiffs' experts is sufficient to meet plaintiffs' burden that Iraq collaborated in or supported bin Laden/al Qaeda's terrorist acts of September 11. . .

"Their opinions, coupled with their qualifications as experts on this issue, provide a sufficient basis for a reasonable jury to draw inferences which could lead to the conclusion that Iraq provided material support to al Qaeda and that it did so with knowledge and intent to further al Qaeda's criminal acts."

Finally, an article that appeared in a regional Iraqi newspaper in July 2001, two months before the disaster of September 11. This article, a paean to bin Laden, mentions that bin Laden 1] 'will try to bomb the Pentagon after he destroys the White House,' 2] 'is insisting very convincingly that he will strike America on the arm that is already hurting,' and 3] 'will curse the memory of Frank Sinatra every time he hears his songs.' (google Exs. 16-18, Naeem Abd Muhalhal, America, An Obsession Called Osama Bin Ladin, Al-Nasiriya, July 21, 2001) would seem to indicate that the Iraqi government was at least aware of Bin Ladens general plan...unless of course, you believe that Iraq had a free, non-governmentally vetted press...and that members of that free press somehow got Al-Quiada information and printed it in their open forum....

I did not provide any links to the information above, for one simple reason, to those that agree with me, it's preaching to the choir.
To the Left; it's "all BushHitlerCheneyHalliburtonCo Facist propaganda", I would challenge those people to research the information on their own. Use Google and find the root sources on your own. You would simply discount me because of my politics, but go through the information tree on your own and you may just come to see that the facts bear out my position.


Now liberals, one more time, say into a mirror:

"There is no Iraqi connection to 9/11." Repeat 1000 times.

Won't make you any more correct, but it will please your DNC/ACP/MoveOn masters to see that you can drone the meme loud and long enough to never engage your brain and start to question the orthadoxy of the Left when facts come up to refute you....

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:12 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 757 words, total size 5 kb.

August 24, 2005

Quote of the Day

"Liberty has never come from the government.... The history of liberty is the history of the limitation of governmental power, not the increase of it." -- President Woodrow Wilson

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 11:22 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 37 words, total size 1 kb.

One Subject; Two Views

According to the Drudge Report, the Loony Left "Peace at any Price" Anti-Mongers are stepping up their activities from using the names of dead heroes to tormenting the live ones too.

Maybe the DoD should rethink their policy of disarming returning soldiers.....

Seems that the Far Left is more determined than ever to recreate the Viet Nam Era.

More on this as it developes.

Update: Meanwhile THIS is what a true American did to express his gratitude for the sacrifices made by members of our military.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 10:12 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 94 words, total size 1 kb.

Widdle Bunny Wabbit

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and
asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two
missing teeth, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep
widdle wabbits?"

As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his
knees so that he's on her level and asks, "Do you
want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy
bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle
bwown wabbit over there?"

She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her
hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a
tiny quiet voice, "I don't think my python weally
gives a thit."

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:36 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 110 words, total size 1 kb.

Joke of the Day

This might be slightly racist, and homophobic, but most of all FUNNY. I don't write em, I just pass em along.

A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees
this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little
guy staring at him, looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch
private, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."


The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down
and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says, "What's wrong with
you?"

In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?" The
big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the
answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, I
weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my left testicle weighs 3
pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says, "Turner Brown? ... Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, "Turn
Around"

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:33 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 196 words, total size 1 kb.

August 23, 2005

Pat, that's NOT Helping

Pat Robertson demonstrated the height of idiocy last night when he publicly called for the assasination of Hugo Chavez.

I've long called for the so called "moderate" Muslims to unequivically disavow the actions of their fringe element in public, so I think it only right and proper for me to do the same when a fringe element wild cannon cuts loose from my religious heritage. I hereby do so. LOUDLY, and publicly.

While I vehemently disagree with Mr. Chavez, assasination for political change is not the course for a civilized society to follow.

(Now in the same spirit as C.A.I.R., now I'll speak to my brethren in my own language: Brothers, we can't publicly say stuff like this. It's counterproductive, and even worse, it disallows "plausible deniability" when we have to resort to the dirty trick bag to prevent a serious war with our neighbors to the south.)

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 06:09 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 156 words, total size 1 kb.

The Guys' Rules

Reader Jack sent me this today in e-mail....I'd seen it before,but because of certain circumstance arising, I thought it aprapo' to post it for someone to see..


At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear"the rules"from the female point of view...


Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.


1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.


1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.


1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.


1. Crying is blackmail.


1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just SAY it!


1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.


1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.


1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.


1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.


1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.


1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
(well most of the time anyway)

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.


1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.


1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," ! We will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.


1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.


1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf. (or in my case, guns, ammo, tools, and golf)

1. You have enough clothes.


1. You have too many shoes. (5 pairs of black flats?!?!)


1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.


Readers:
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an even bigger laugh!

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:22 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 619 words, total size 3 kb.

Now THAT'S a Cluebatting!™

Murdock Online has a post up with the response of Steven Vincent's wife to Juan Cole's online slurring of her dead husbands reputation on August 8, 2005. (4th link down on that days postings)
Linking to merely speculative ramblings from the British press is almost excusable, we've all linked to stories that we may not agree with, just to show all sides of an issue/incident, in fact I linked to the same blather from the Brits in THIS post to make sure everyone gets the whole picture;but Mr. Cole just HAD to add his own (as usual) off the mark and inane opinion to add yet another cut on a dead mans honor.

Lisa Ramaci-Vincent's response is a prime example of how to administer a Cluebat™ to an Idiotarian's skull, and truly a wonder to behold.

No hyperboly, no rant, just a recounting of facts and a well controlled widow's rage directed at the moron that kicked her soul mate when he was no longer around to defend himself.

Ms. Ramaci-Vincent, I salute you and offer my meager condolences on your loss,nay, I grieve for the loss of us all, for we have loss a great voice of Truth.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 11:27 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 207 words, total size 1 kb.

August 22, 2005

Random Quotes

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
- Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
- Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.
- Jilly Cooper

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
- Mark Twain

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
- Ed Furgol

Money can't buy you happiness... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
- Henny Youngman

I am opposed to millionaires... but it would be dangerous! to offer me the position.
- Mark Twain

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was shut up.
- Joe Namath

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
- Herbert Henry Asquith

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
- WC. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way
through Congress.
- Will Rogers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation... as you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty... but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
- Phyllis Diller

The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good spit it out.
- Unknown (boy, do I KNOW about that one! *grin*)

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 08:54 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 483 words, total size 3 kb.

August 21, 2005

Gasoline

I don't agree with whom they find at fault for outrageous gasoline prices, but the humor, and the plaint, still holds true.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:17 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 24 words, total size 1 kb.

DU Rounds

I've noticed that there have been an increasing number of those in the anti-war camp that use the canard that "we are turning Iraq into a nuclear toxic waste area" with the use of DU (depleted uranium) rounds. I was all set to try to dig up the scientific evidence pro and con on this issue when I found that Odysseus had already done the scut work, and being the lazy paleo-con I am, decided to just give a link to his excellent post on the matter. The fact that the Major has served as an artillery officer, and thus has first hand knowledge of the subject, only lends credence to his contentions.

In a nutshell,by all the data, unless you receive a significant amount of imbedded shrapnel AND allow it to remain there for an extended period of time, the arguments against DU rounds is comepletely specious.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:34 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 152 words, total size 1 kb.

August 20, 2005

Islam--R.o.P.?

Still believe that Islam is a "Religion of Peace", and can reform it's violent fringe? Jason Pappas has something you should read then.

He does an excellant job of demonstrating that Islam just cant reform itself, when he says in a comment subsequent to this post:

"..IÂ’m not arguing that Christianity guarantees a peaceful society with tolerance and respect for individual rights. My argument aims at something more modest: that Christian doctrine and the example of Jesus are not great impediments to the option of such a peaceful society. Thus, the choice, which I hope Christians will take, of creating liberal democracy doesnÂ’t require tremendous logical contortions and self-deception."

"Islam is a political ideology and Muhammad ruled oppressively. Can Islam choose individual rights and liberty with universal respect in a pluralistic society? Not without great contradiction to the ideology. ItÂ’s just not an option in Islam."

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 07:10 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 148 words, total size 1 kb.

U.N. Essay

Woody, over at GM'S Corner has a link to an excellent essay on why we should have nothing to do with the U.seless N.itwits.

Bruce S. Thornton lays it out better than I ever could, and Woody's comments on some excerpts are well worth reading too.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 06:49 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 50 words, total size 1 kb.

Cops Say the Darndest Things

Cops say the darndest things! The following were taken off of actual
police car videos around the country. (I can't vouch for that, but as a former LEO, I can say that they sound realistic to me -D-)

"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
out after you wear them awhile."

"Take your hands off the car, or I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't
know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."

"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh.... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go
to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."

"In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

"Just how big were those two beers?"

"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now
we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

And the best one...

"You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't." "Sign here."

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:56 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 333 words, total size 2 kb.

Go, Grandpa!

This is purported to be an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen
submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas. Even if it's just a hoax, the humor certainly remains...

NAME: George Martin

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman, (or at least,
one who'll cooperate).

DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously,
whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't
be applying here in the first place?

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael
Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we
can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a
more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would
be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no, on my breaks - yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas
with a fabulously wealthy dumb, sexy, blonde, supermodel who thinks
I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing
that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF
YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:46 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 322 words, total size 2 kb.

F.Y.I. P.S.A.

Sounds like a good thing to know.

A 36 year old female had an accident several weeks ago and totaled
her car.

A resident of Kilgore, Texas, she was traveling between
Gladewater & Kilgore. It was raining, though not excessive, when her car
suddenly began to hydroplane and literally flew through the air. She was not
seriously injured but very stunned at the sudden occurence.

When she explained to the highway patrolman what had happened he told
her something that every driver should know. NEVER DRIVE IN THE RAIN
WITH YOUR CRUISE CONTROL ON. She had thought she was being cautious
by setting the cruise control and maintaining a safe consistent speed in
the rain.

But the highway patrolman told her that if the cruise control is on
and your car begins to hydroplane - when your tires lose contact with the
pavement your car will accelerate to a higher rate of speed and you take off like an airplane. She told the patrolman that was exactly what had occurred.

We all know you have little or no control over a car when
it begins to hydroplane. You are at the mercy of the Good Lord. The
highway patrol estimated her car was actually traveling through the
air at 10 to 15 miles per hour faster than the speed set on the cruise
control.

The patrolman said this warning should be listed, on the driver's
seat sun-visor. NEVER USE THE CRUISE CONTROL WHEN THE PAVEMENT IS WET OR ICY, along with the airbag warning.

We tell our teenagers to set the cruise control and drive a safe speed - but we don't tell them to use the cruise control only when the pavement is dry.

The only person the accident victim found, who knew this (besides the
patrolman), was a man who had a similar accident, totaled his car and
sustained severe injuries.

Posted by: Delftsman3 at 05:37 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 317 words, total size 2 kb.

<< Page 66 of 96 >>
71kb generated in CPU 0.2432, elapsed 0.3532 seconds.
49 queries taking 0.3216 seconds, 186 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.